Take care of you ever during the holidays

Take Care of You Even During the Holidays

The holidays can be so stressful for people. They feel this heavy burden of guilt around doing and not doing things. “Shoulds” become like a giant weighted coat they wear around burdened with the expectations they place on themselves and that are placed on their shoulders by others around preparing meals, giving gifts, showing up for large family gatherings, and so much more.
I share this information now because it is fresh in your mind. And if you carry these burdens of stress, guilt, and obligation, you are probably still dealing with the aftermath exhaustion of the holidays (holy-days) of winter.
Guilt and shoulds are bad for your health. They aren’t normal. It’s something we are trained to take on by family, friends, education, religion, and sometimes the culture we are from.
To truly love yourself, to flow with life rather than struggle through it, all of that has to go. So it’s super important that even during the holidays, you take care of you.
I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times, but the old adage is true, “You can’t take care of others until you first take care of yourself.”
You matter. Your wants, your needs, your desires, what you like and don’t like, what feels good and what doesn’t feel good are things only you know. And what brings you joy is also something that only you can know about yourself.
If you love getting together with family, then great. Get together with them and have a marvelous time.

Take Care of You When Planning Holiday Meals

Do you love being in the kitchen for hours or days and then feel exhausted for several more days because of the time and energy it took to pull it all together?  Is it worth it to you?
If you love it, great. If not, think of another way to handle the parts that are stressful. Have your meals catered. Have everyone bring a dish. Or, if you insist on preparing most of the meal, have others help you with decorating, making side dishes, deserts, setting the table, and cleaning up afterward.
For me personally, getting together with others is about enjoying laughs, stories, and having meaningful conversation. The food and decorations are secondary.
I love decorating. But when I decorate my home or garden, I do it for myself because I love the fun of creative expression. Not because it’s something I’m supposed to do or because it is what society expects. I sometimes decorate for the holidays and sometimes I don’t.
I enjoy a good meal as much as the next person. And trust me when I say I’ve had some great food before … on cruise ships, at 5 star restaurants, as well as unique little restaurants around the globe.
My former husband and I had friends in Santa Cruz, California who loved to cook. They owned a health food store, so ingredients were always available. They would grab a glass of organic wine and spend 2 hours together preparing a meal each evening. They greatly enjoyed the time together preparing and then eating the delicious food. It was like having “date night” every night.
But not everyone feels that way about food preparation. Is it a burden or is it a blessing? Do you do it for the joy or creation or do you do it out of obligation?

Giving Gifts Should Not be a Burden

And then there’s the gift giving …
So many people literally go into debt becasue of their holiday gift giving. Being in debt can be deeply stressful. Plus, it’s financially irresponsible. I know far too many people who give and give and give as a plea to be loved. These people got some bad programming along the way that left them believing they have to give and “do” things in order to be loved and appreciated. When you love unconditionally, it is simply a blessing to have them in your life. If you have to do things to be loved, then you aren’t with the right kind of people.
There is giving because it brings you great joy to give to another, knowing they will love what you give and to let them know they are being thought about. And there is giving in hopes of being loved. Just make sure you are always giving for joy.
Take care of you by thinking of ways to drop the guilt and shoulds for the next holiday season or family get together.
Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

Return from the Take Care of You Even During the Holidays page to the Magnificent U Personal Empowerment Home Page.

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Takara Shelor
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