Beginning Each Day in a Natural Way to Improve Health and Reduce Stress Starting your day this way will improve health and reduce stress. Find out how. How do you start your day? I begin my day before 6 a.m. – before anyone else is awake in my household. I intend to wake up […]
I had everything everyone chasing the American Dream thinks they want. I had a prestigious job with excellent pay, a gorgeous little red sports car, a handsome man in my life, a fabulous house, and I got to enjoy exotic travel really often. I was an engineer and the only female manager at the pharmaceutical manufacturing facility where I worked. Forty people reported directly to me. I was at the top of my game …
But along with the great career came a ridiculous amount of stress.
The plant where I worked was installing a plantwide computer system to handle inventory, materials tracking, etc. It was my job to implement the system “on the floor.” I had to teach big burly material handlers how to use a computer. Some of them were even uncomfortable using calculators. As the system went live, every five minutes Read more
Beginning Each Day in a Natural Way
Starting your day this way will improve health and reduce stress. Find out how.
How do you start your day?
I begin my day before 6 a.m. – before anyone else is awake in my household. I intend to wake up that early and I do so without an alarm clock.
I sit in silence … Read more
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Order a signed copy of Peering Through the Veil here. It is also available on Amazon.
Energy Healers and Shaman
Physical Pain and Entities
Up until the day I met Kaaren Shikiah Kaylor, I had never needed, or even thought of, having an energy session for physical pain. I so rarely have physical pain. But living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the energies there brought up so many things, I often found myself dealing with phantom pain from past lives and had lots of encounters with disharmonious energy, vampires, energetic attachments, etc. Where there is light, there is also darkness.
We had just moved to Santa Fe a few weeks prior and I had been invited to have a booth at a Goddess Weekend in Madrid, NM. As I was setting up the booth, I suddenly began having excruciating back pain. I could hardly walk I was so uncomfortable. I was still setting up the booth when this woman, Shikiah, was doing the opening ceremony. When my then husband, Raven, came back to the booth after the ceremony, he said, “I scheduled you an appointment with Shikiah.” Hmmmm I am freaking picky about who I let work in my energy field. I had never laid eyes on her and yet, I was scheduled for a session. If it weren’t for the pain, I probably would have cancelled. I like to make my own appointments, thank you very much. hahaha
I Am an Energy Healer
Whatever you are called to do as a true life purpose, those talents and gifts you came in to awaken, activate, fine-tune, and enhance, often require that you grow immensely in consciousness and awareness, healing layer upon layer of fear and limitation in order to step fully into that role. That’s what I’ve been up to for two decades … awakening, activating, fine-tuning, expanding, allowing, healing, growing, in a never ending spiral upward.
Like everyone, I’ve gotten stuck and required assistance to move forward on more than one occasion. I’ve developed friendships and business partnerships with people who showed up so I could fine-tune and hone my “bull shit” meter (pardon the language), my ability to read energy, my ability to sort between the truly, authentically, genuinely Light and the wolves in sheep’s clothing – those who appear light, use all the right words, appear to be intent on helping others, but are instead running hidden agendas and in some cases are energy manipulators or actual energy vampires. If you are going to work with energy, this is something you must master.
Read more about the nature of who I am and what I do here.
How to Tell the Dark from the Light
Some Will Steal Your Power
How Can You Tell?
If you spend time with someone and afterwards you feel confusion, worry, exhaustion, or self doubt, that is a neon sign that you have been manipulated energetically and/or mentally. Clear the energy between you and spend less time with them if at all possible.
How often do you take the time to meditate, open the energy channels within the body, connect to the earth and your Higher Self?
These are actions I take every single day. I encourage you to do the same. As you continue the practice, you will become better at determining people who are running harmonious empowering energy vs the opposite.
Have a glorious day,
P.S. When you need help, give me a call.
The bloody shoulds destroy relationships and self-esteem.
Blame, shame, victimhood, guilt … often create terrible destruction and rarely anything positive.
The only way for a person to be happy is to stop blaming others and outside circumstances for their unhappiness. You have to take responsibility for how you react to the words and actions of other people. People’s behavior is one thing. Your reaction to it is all about you and nothing at all to do with them.
If you want a great relationship with someone, you have to create it and make it a priority.
You have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate the other person just the way they are. Of course, they have to do the same for your.
Developing kindness, compassion, caring, and being conscientious of how your words and actions affect others is something you (as in all people) simply have to learn how to do if you ever want great relationships.
The problem for most people is that it is impossible to do those things for another until one learns to do it for themselves – meaning you have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate yourself. You have to see your own brilliance. You also have to see your shortcomings and love yourself anyway.
When you can do that, others will also. That’s just how it works.
It took me years to figure all this out and apply it in my own life by truly learning to love and appreciate myself.
Shoulds Destroy Relationships
Emotional distress happens when you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others or are attached to how you think you and they “should” be behaving. When they (or you) don’t behave the way you think they “should,” you get upset. It’s human nature. It is also something everyone needs to learn to get over.
When you get angry, upset, or sad because someone didn’t behave the way you think they “should” have, that is a great opportunity to take a long hard look, heal, and release, the underlying cause of your anger or sadness. The current circumstance is simply a mirror showing you something that is still “broken” within. It is never about the other person or situation. It is always about the one reacting.
People have good days and bad days. They are imperfect. Sometimes they are fun and interesting and other times they are grumpy. Sometimes they have energy to do things and other days they can barely get out of bed. That is just the truth.
Some people are night owls while other are morning people. Some people are naturally more kind. Kindness is really important to me.
Think Before You Speak
If someone is mean, calls people names, is constantly judging, complaining about, and criticizing others, I simply refuse to hang out with them. They obviously are not showing honor or respect for those other people.
If the people you tend to hang out with act this way, it’s time for new friends. It’s also time to look in the mirror because people are often drawn to people much like themselves. You have to learn to think about how it would feel if someone said that to you, before you speak it out loud. Check out this article on Living the Golden Rule – the rule book I follow in life.
If you have done something unkind, then recognize it, forgive yourself first, then apologize, and move on. In the future, think before you speak or act.
Learning and growing is why we are here. We don’t expect a toddler to always be nice or know how to do everything already. Yet we expect ourselves, and others, to do everything perfectly all the time. When in truth, we are all just learning and growing.
This is a little saying I came up with some time ago:
“They are doing the best they can with what they’ve got
Be it what they’ve experienced or what they’ve been taught.”
In every given moment, we are all doing the best we can. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Yes, we could all do better. But because of stress, environment, fears, limiting beliefs, judgments, expectations, attachments to outcomes, shame, blame, victimhood, and guilt, we behave less than best a great deal of the time. We can beat ourselves and others up over this forever. Or we can let it go, forgive, and move on.
We are also greatly influenced by the expectations of others. If someone thinks we always screw up, we tend to screw up. If someone thinks we are brilliant, we tend to be brilliant. How you are viewed in the eyes and unspoken beliefs of those you surround yourself with does have an impact on you – whether beneficial or detrimental.
They did a study a long time ago. I am not remembering all the details, but this was the gist of it: A teacher was given the name of each of her new students for the school year along with their locker number. However the teacher was told that the locker number was the student’s IQ. Whether the teacher openly treated students differently with what she thought was a higher IQ or if she simply had higher expectations of those students with high numbers and lesser expectations of those with low numbers, at the end of the year the student scores matched her expectations. Even for children who usually got A’s, if their number was lower, they got lower grades.
How you believe people are is how they behave in your presence. If you think people are jerks, then you tend to be surrounded by jerks. A lot of it has to do with your own beliefs and expectations. When you change, the experiences you have with others changes as well.
Feed Your Mind the Right Things
We are comprised of 70 to 80% water. The studies by Masaru Emoto showed dramatic shifts in water structure by simply taping different words (written in Japanese Kanje / calligraphy) on a glass of water. http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html Check out the images, they are fascinating.
Hate caused severe distortion. Love caused extraordinarily beautiful and intricate crystalline structure. Music, news, conversation all have a real tangible effect on your body and therefore your mind and emotions. What you feed your mind matters. Who you surround yourself with matters. How you speak to others and how you let them speak to you matters. What you listen to, even your self talk, all makes a huge difference in how well you do in life and your level of happiness and success.
Many success experts say that you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. When you are stuck and wanting to change, the first thing to do is change who you hang out with. If you can’t do that physically, then do it through audio, video, and books. I know a very successful woman who used to read the autobiography’s of very famous people and then, in her mind, pretend that those people were sitting around a table talking with her – her own mental board room. She had “gotten into their head” by reading all about them and then started having conversations, asking questions, making decisions as if they were her friends and advisers. The famous book, Think and Grow Rich, would suggest something similar.
I used to listen to audios and read books by my favorite spiritual teacher. On my way to and from work, I listened to his words of wisdom. I read and listened so often that sometimes I would suddenly hear him say a line or two in my head. It was very empowering and eventually helped me find the courage to leave an incredibly stressful career environment and head out into the unknown to find joy, passion, and my true life’s calling.
Now some of my online programs help you take a deep dive into my work, read my words and hear my voice, related to personal and spiritual growth, energy healing, inspiration, new thoughts and perspectives about life, to truly become empowered and find their own courage to become magnificent and have greater relationships and a more meaningful life experience.
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like this one on getting stuck in the negative thinking spin and the others mentioned at the bottom of it. As well as this article about the Golden Rule and education.
May you experience magnificent relationships,
My first spiritual teacher, Stuart Wilde, had this great technique. You close your eyes before a meeting or situation and you see the person shrinking down to a tiny little person about 1 1/2 inches tall. You see them so small they can run around on your hand. In diminishing their size physically, you are also diminishing their perceived power over you or situations. Instead of a giant monster in the way of joy or productive meetings, they become a comical little silly thing that makes you laugh. It shifts the energy enough to actually make a difference. Nothing has really changed of course, except your opinion about all of it.
Best of luck!”
It is not always easy to find the “good” in everyone or to genuinely learn to like and appreciate them. Visit this link to read my article about learning to love, honor, and appreciate everyone.
NO amount of abuse, whether it be physical, mental/emotional, or spiritual/energetic, is acceptable. Any time you are not being (feeling) loved, honored, accepted, and/or appreciated for who you are, it is often a sign that abuse of one kind or another is happening.
I’ve been through various forms of abuse myself and thankfully I’ve healed, moved on, and lived to tell the tale. Over the years I’ve also worked with hundreds of clients who were facing similar issues. There is a saying that goes, “Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell, Spirituality is for people who have already been there.” Many who turn to spirituality, metaphysics, energy healing, alternative/complementary medicine, etc. do it to heal issues that, whether they realize it or not, began because of abuse of one form or another.
I’ve written many articles about who you allow into your inner circle. I can’t stress enough how truly important that is for your health and physical / mental / emotional / and spiritual wellbeing.
Who and what you allow in says to your subconscious mind, the Universe, and those around you what you desire and deserve.
Every time you allow abuse, you are saying: “I deserve that. I am not worthy of being honored, loved, respected, and appreciated. I am not lovable”
Those are horrendous affirmations and they must stop NOW!
Because, Dear One, they are absolute LIES!
You are magnificent!
You are an embodiment of Divinity walking on planet earth!
You deserve everything – to be happy, healthy, and successful as you define success!
You are a precious gift and you deserve all that you desire.
Not sticking up for yourself is also abusive. It’s you abusing yourself, saying you don’t deserve better.
And yet, when you are in it, you feel:
- less than,
- unworthy, and/or
No matter how smart, or seemingly successful you are, you often can’t see a way out. Or, as a defense mechanism, you don’t even allow yourself to see or recognize that you are being abused.
Abuse of any kind causes damage not only to self esteem, but also to the energy field (aura) around you. When the energy field is damaged – ripped, shredded or torn – all sorts of icky sticky energy can “get in” and then you have even more disharmonious/noxious stuff to deal with.
If you find yourself in an abusive situation, call on a friend and ask for support from the Universe (God by whatever name), and get out as fast as possible! Find a place to step back into wholeness that is safe.
Most Dancing Dolphin products were designed to assist with putting things back into wholeness, harmony, and alignment energetically. Each one of the sacred healing oils and mists helps to soothe the hurt places, to lift you up energetically so you can see more clearly and heal what needs to be healed and deal with what needs to be dealt with.
The perfect energetic to support anyone facing current or past abuse of any kind is the Dancing Dolphin sacred healing oil of Turquoise. It is nurturing, healing, protective, helps to lift you up into a safe space for healing and transformation. And, like all Dancing Dolphin products, contains Dolphin Healing Energies and other powerful energetics that take you and your spiritual journey to a whole new level.
Dancing Dolphin Turquoise oil is available here.
“When you look in the mirror, staring back at you should be joy.
If what you see in the mirror is something less than joy, such as stress,
pain, frustration, anger, sadness, jealousy, fear, etc.,
then something in your life needs to change NOW!”
~ Debbie Takara Shelor
Joy is your natural state of being.
Herein lies the source of all your emotional pair:
The way you think people and situations should be is different than they really are.
When you can let go of the “shoulds” and just let life unfold without judgment, things get significantly easier and a lot more fun!
To more easily embrace each moment and find your joy, get BLISS by Dancing Dolphin!
Have a deLightful day,
Dealing with the Killer Called Stress
Observations and Advice by Captain Paul Watson (by permission)
I am often asked how I deal with stress considering I’m wanted by Japan and Costa Rica, I have a price on my head from the shark fin mafia of Costa Rica, we have numerous ships on the sea in dangerous campaigns, I am being sued, threatened and harassed continuously and I have a lot of enemies, critics and people who wish me harm.
The answer to this is simple. I don’t deal with stress, because I do not suffer from stress. And these are ten primary reasons why, and for anyone suffering from anxiety, worry or stress, I would like to offer this advice …
1. It is what it is. Whatever the issue, whatever the threat, whatever the circumstances it simply is what it is. Stressing will not change the situation. All problems can be dealt with or ignored.
2. “It’s always something.” I say this all the time to my crews whenever a problem arises. “It’s always something and if it’s not something, it’s something else, but it is always something.” This means that life comes with obstacles, challenges and problems. Problems should not be unexpected. They are inevitable. All problems can be dealt with by dealing with them, delegating someone else to deal with them, or ignoring them. One thing for sure, on a ship, it is definitely always something.
3. Stay calm. There really is nothing worth getting upset about. For example, if I drop a bottle of wine or tomato sauce and it shatters, my reaction is, “hmmm okay, that needs cleaning up.” If I lose my phone, wallet or keys, my reaction is “I better replace what I lost and take measures to cancel my cards etc. More seriously when my regulator jammed once at 30 meters, I calmly signaled my partner to indicate my situation. Fretting about it will not recover the object. Panicking will not save your life. Anger emanates from stress. Without stress there can be no anger. Without stress there is no panic.
4. Nothing material is permanent and thus objects are not worth stressing about. Your car is damaged, something you own is stolen, or you lost your investments etc. It is really not important. Material objects and comforts are nice but they should not be anchors keeping you attached to stress. Move on.
5. Friends are friends or they are not. A true friend will never betray you and if a “friend” does betray you than he/she is simply not a friend. Always walk away from betrayal and do not stress about it. True and loyal friends are rare treasures and should be treated as such. Loyalty returns loyalty. Compassion returns compassion. Courage returns courage. However you control only your own loyalty, compassion and courage, not that of others. And if they prove disloyal or they betray you, the treasure is no longer a treasure but merely a bauble to be tossed aside. Never stress about betrayal or loss. It is what it is.
6. Loneliness is an opportunity. It is an opportunity to discover yourself. You can’t find someone to love you if you don’t love yourself, and the secret to finding the right person is to not look for that person. Love should blossom from the ground like a lovely wild flower. It cannot be cultivated until after it is realized. Do not seek the seed but let the flower reveal an opportunity to you to grow and learn.
7. Relationships are like streams, constantly flowing and as they flow they meet obstacles. Some are minor and others major but a relationship either flows around the obstacle or it is blocked, and if permanently blocked, it ends. This is not cause for stress or angry, resentment or jealously. It is what it is. Move on with appreciation and without bitterness for the relationship that is no more, and open your heart to other possibilities that life presents. The most important factor in maintaining a meaningful relationship with lovers, family or friends is simply acceptance. You need to accept them for who they are and they need to accept you for who you are. If you cannot accept another person for who they are, you need to stop inflicting stress on that person and to walk away. And if another person does not accept you for who you are, you need to walk away no matter the nature of the relationship. Stress kills and living with a person who does not accept you for who you are is like living with a person who is slowly killing you.
8. Fear is a poison that seeps into the soul and paralyzes our senses generating paranoia, insecurity and anger. Never let fear enter your life. There is really nothing to fear because things are what they are and will be what they will be. Remember you are the captain of your fate and the master of your soul and body. Who you are and what you wish to be depends on you and you alone. A person free of fear can accomplish far more than a person shackled to fear.
9. Oscar Wilde once said that the only thing worst than being talked about was not being talked about. People talk, they gossip, they make false accusations, some enjoy insulting and belittling others. They are easily dealt with by ignoring them. Responding to them is what they want, so don’t respond. Reacting to them is what they want, so don’t react. Such people are not worthy of causing stress to you. They come from a place of insecurity, jealously and fear. It is their stress, and their stress is their problem. It should not be yours.
10. Hoka Hey. It’s a good day to die. It’s a Lakota saying and it means to not fear death and to stand firm for what you believe in, to fight against all odds and to never surrender. The one absolute of life is death. We all will die. What matters is not dying but living. It is how you live that is important and the only thing important about dying is how you die. It should be a death without fear, with dignity and with acceptance that it is what it is. The person without fear dies but once, the person shackled by fear dies slowly from stress and anxiety. Accept the inevitable, embrace the final reality of life and smile in the face of the infinite. The real secret to happiness is to not fear your own death, to not fear failure or ridicule, and not to fear others.
Stress is an obstacle to mindfulness and an impediment to impeccability. Stress is the cause of migraines, cancer and many other ailments. It is the reason people smoke, take drugs, and drink excessively. When people ask me why I’ve never smoked anything, the reason being is that I have never felt inclined to do so. It never seemed healthy to me and I have always been mindful of the consequences. I think that stress blocks mindfulness of consequences. The same holds true to getting drunk or stoned. Without stress there is no need, nor a desire to do either.
Mindfulness is simply awareness of who you are and what you are doing. A person who is mindful is a person free of stress.
Unfulfilled desire leads to stress. Wanting nothing allows you to appreciate what you have. When you want nothing, you want for nothing. We all have basic needs for food, for warmth and shelter, for clothing and for companionship. Mindfulness allows you to be secure with your basic needs. Everything else is a luxury and although luxuries may be appreciated, you should not depend upon them. Depending upon luxuries leads to stress.
I have never worked a day in my life for the sole purpose of making money. I have never wanted to own anything and although I now do own property and material things, I do not allow those things to own me. I never engage in arguments about money or debts. I tend to avoid debts but when debts occur my position is that they are what they are and certainly not anything to be troubled with.
As far as basic needs, I learned to address this as a teenager when I left home at 15. I had no money, no place to stay, no prospects. I jumped a freight train, rode in the automobiles being transported from Toronto all the way to Vancouver. I arrived and camped in the abandoned gun towers on Wreck Beach and the first thing I did was to go to Vancouver City College to enroll. I found a job, moved out of the gun tower into a single room I rented and went from there. Looking back I see it as an adventure. I had nothing but there was no stress. I simply replaced the insecurity of my position into an adventurous experience. I treated every job as a learning experience and working as a longshoreman, teamster, tree planter, warehouse man, short order cook, baker, painter, carpet layer, postman, tour guide, landscaper, and seaman all were educational experiences.
The truth is that all of life is an adventure, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the experiences, the hardships, the thrills and the times that were lonely, happy or difficult. Even the loss of friends and family is simply dealt with by acknowledging that death is as it is. It is inevitable and although we may sincerely mourn we can do so without being stressed. This may be difficult to understand but it is indeed quite possible. With the passing of every friend, with the passing of my brother I have silently said “Good-bye” with the appreciation of having known them.
I have gone into situations many times where the risks of injury, death or imprisonment were practically a certainty. My approach has always been acceptance. And amazingly I am still alive and still free. When I have had nothing I have had everything I need, and when I have risked all, I have usually been successful. One of the things that concerns me is when I read about, or hear of people, especially young people committing suicide because of bullying. I wish that I could talk to such people before they make such a terminal decision. I would tell them to not let the insecurities and fears of others influence them in any way. I would tell them to accept that all the ridicule, insults, bullying and peer pressure is irrelevant and simply unimportant to who they are. If a parent is unaccepting of who you are, you need to say to them that if you are unacceptable to them they have no right to be your parent and you should walk away from them. Too many people are enslaved to parents, partners and friends who do not accept them Unacceptance and bullying are forms of violence and everyone should walk away from violence with dignity. No one should tell you what to believe, how to think, how to dress, how to behave or to dictate your sexual orientation or condemn you for your compassion, your passion, your imagination and your character. You are who you are and that is what it is, and how it should be, and if others do not tolerate who you are, don’t give them the satisfaction of destroying you. Simply symbolically spit in their eye, walk away and concentrate on being who you are for the benefit of yourself.
And if anyone is inclined to commit suicide my advice is to commit social suicide instead. That is, to drop out of your life as it is and begin another life, in another place with new ideas. Adventure is the antidote for depression. Take a chance, jump into the unknown and you will be amazed at what is awaiting you after you do.
I am not infallible. I have made mistakes in my life, many of them. I have at times in the past responded with anger although never physical and limited to the poison of the pen. I have let some people down, disappointed others and missed opportunities. But the one thing that I have been able to do in my life is to avoid stress.
At 64, I am healthy, happy, optimistic, and as passionate as I ever have been. Even more so because I have had the grace of experience and the satisfaction of achievement in those areas that I chose to address.
The point of this posting is this: Do not let stress ruin your health, your love or your life. Dreadnaught and live the adventure, this adventure that is life. It may well be the only life you will ever have. Even if you believe in the afterlife (oh and don’t stress about that either) the fact is you will never know for sure, so no sense wasting the unique life that you have.
A stress free life is not only possible, it’s also essential for your health and your happiness.
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