Healers, Psychics, Intuitive Coaches - It's Time to Heal

Healers, Psychics, Intuitive Coaches – It’s Time to Heal

According to the English translation of the bible, Jesus is quoted as saying: “Don’t try to remove the spec from your brother’s eye until you have removed the plank from your own.” I’m quoting from memory, so it might not be exactly those words. It is close enough for you to get the gist though.

It is very simple and wise advice really. Don’t try to help others until you yourself are healed, whole, balanced, integrated, and aligned – body, mind, and soul. Yet all over the globe wounded healers, psychics, coaches and others are trying to help clients and friends when they themselves are still an emotionally wounded mess.

 

Healers, Psychics, Intuitive Coaches - It's Time to Heal

 

Over and over again I share with you what I call the Noble C’s (calm, clear, confident, Divinely connected, and couragous) and how important it is for you to achieve and maintain that “state of being.” It is vital if you wish to live a joy-filled life, to grow and evolve as a person, rise in consciousness and awareness, reach your highest potential, manifest your true heart-felt desires, and ultimately to have the greatest possible impact in helping others.

That can’t happen if the subtle and not so subtle issues have not been discovered, acknowledge, and truly healed on all levels. People with deep issues, trauma dramas from the past that have not been properly addressed, phobias, biases, and judgments passed down through their lineages taint their every thought, word, and action. And, it keeps them from rising up higher in consciousness, and awareness.

It’s understandable how this happens … people are naturally drawn to things they need themselves. Many people in the healing arts are drawn to energy healing, life coaching, psychology and other healing fields because they themselves need work in those areas. I know when I first was “inspired” to begin creating Dancing Dolphin Alchemical Synergies (energy healing oils & mists), it was to address the numerous deep issues I myself was carrying. Physical and severe psychological abuse, rape, bullying, betrayal by a close friend, numerous experiences of love and loss, being forced to move away from who (I thought at the time) was my one true love this lifetime, and many many other issues left deep emotional scars and many unhealed subconscious issues. And that is just this lifetime.

Think of the crusades, the inquisition, slavery, the plague, the trail of tears, and so many other times and challenges that people have faced over eons of time. Those traumas, science has now proven, are passed down to the next generations.

Every person born in a female body automatically gaines a series of subcscious beliefs that they are less than, less loved by God, unworthy, etc. because of how deeply those beliefs are held by people who practice the various major world religions. Those beliefs, of course, are completely false … the Divine (by whatever name you resonate with) loves everyone everywhere (inluding animals, plants, ants, and everyhing else in creation) equally.

There is a saying (I have no idea where it came from) that the sins of the father are visited on the sons for 7 generations. When you consider “sin” to be “wrong thinking” as I do, then this new scientific discovery makes actual tangible sense with real world implications. All of this subconscious caca is skewing, tainting, and distorting the energies coming through the healers and the information the channels and psychics are “receiving” and sharing with clients.

It is particularly bad in the western world where most people have completely turned off their intuitive / feeling body. They have only their mind to trust about anything. And hopefully by now you are beginning to understand how truly untrustworthy that can be sometimes. because of false beliefs and fears held in the subconscious.

I wish the book I’m working on right now was out already so when I mention levels of consciousness. you would have a deeper understanding about what I mean. Until then, just know that to truly step into your power, to lead a life of grace, flow, freedom, and joy, to see and “know” clearly, a great deal of deep deep inner work is required.

You are never “done.” No matter how high you climb in consciousness and awareness. No matter how much information you channel or energy you “bring through,” there is always more and deeper work to be done. It is an ever upward spiral that you are journeying around.

You can tell you have work to do when you are “triggered” by anything. Triggers look like:

  • anger
  • judgment (judgment involves emotion, discernment is very logical and completely devoid of emotion)
  • upset
  • name calling
  • reactions of any kind to people or situations
  • sudden lack of confidence, self doubt, or confusion

Even just reading the news or social media can trigger your “stuff.” That’s why many people avoid both. I avoid news but spend a great deal of time on social media sharing insights.

Because of how easy it is to have skewed information coming through a channel, I rarely let anyone do energy healing work on me and almost never get “readings.” When you have healed (body, mind, soul) enough emotional baggage, have done soul retrievals and other processes that help you become more “whole,” have stepped into a state of grace, synchronicity, and a greater level of ease, are highly in tune with your intuitive/feeling body, then you can immediately “feel” and know if someone is genuine or running hidden agendas, if they are of a high level of consciousness, and if the information and energy coming through them is pure.

Every single products and program I have been “inspired” (brought in from higher dimensions to assist humanity) is designed to help you get to that place yourself … I have never met anyone living at a higher level of consciousness who hasn’t had significant help to get there. And, no matter how far they rise, there are occasions when they still need assistance. Thinking otherwise is why mamy stay stuck.

Dancing Dolphin Alchemical Synergies offer extraordinary support to help you grow and evolve, rise in consciousness and awareness, and to address the deep dark subconscious things that keep you stuck and playing small. As I evolve, the energies the synergies carry do as well.

I’ve said for years that everyone needs to go through at least 1 bottle of Forgiveness while working with the meditation and training I put together to assist. And that is definitely still true.
Yet, the more I work with the ideas I’ve shared in this article – as well as the deep dive into all these subjects that I’ll be sharing in my upcoming book – the more I realize that everyone also needs to work with the energies of Finally Free. And then in a year or two do another bottle of Finally Free. And then to continue this out into the future.

The Creative Invocations for the I Am Presence contain specific teachings, healing technologies and Dancing Dolphin transformational energies to help you integrate your Diviine aspects of self into your third dimensional reality. Visit this link to get Finally Free and Forgiveness now!

 

Your Blocks to Success

9 Things You Must Overcome to Manifest Your Desires & Live a Joy-Filled Life

Every personal empowerment workshop, every coaching program, every energy healing session, and every shamanic healing experience, should have as its aim a way to help you identify, heal, and release these 9 things that you must overcome to manifest your desires and live a joy-filled life.

I call them the “9 Deadly Sins.”

They each represent a way of thinking and believing that do not serve you. These ways of perceiving and viewing the world keep you firmly trapped in the life you are currently living. They keep you from becoming the best version of yourself and from having, doing, and experiencing the things you desire … no matter how much you visualize, pray, or how hard you try. 

You can’t take all the blame for these 9 disempowering ways of thinking. You’ve been … Read more

Past Life Trauma - Rising From the Ashes Like the Phoenix!

Past Life Trauma – Rising From the Ashes Like the Phoenix!

Sometimes things that seem the worst can often become the best. It is all a matter of perspective. And it is always your choice.

I’ve recently been through what has to be the most challenging experience I’ve ever had. And it offered the perfect opportunity to review past life trauma.

In the game called life, I almost always come out a winner.

How is that possible?

Because when times get tough, the tough go shopping!

Oh sorry, wrong lesson.

Because in the midst of tears and pain and the very foundations of my world appearing to fall apart, I remained open, vulnerable, and brutally honest with myself and those I love. And instead of falling into the trap of “Oh woe is me,” I took personal responsibility and spent hours upon hours reflecting inwardly to discover why I had created this scenario in my world.

And as always, when you ask the right questions, you ALWAYS get the answers.

The deep questions lead to several regressions into past life trauma, which resulted in many amazing and powerful discoveries about myself.

I am now completely free of an almost debilitating subconscious fear that has plagued me for centuries. It had greatly limited me this lifetime.

As I cried and processed and went on an emotional roller coaster, I periodically heard a still small voice saying, “The shackles are coming off.” It is a rare thing for me to hear a voice.

And then when I finally began to review this particular very intense past life trauma, it was suddenly, “Eureka! That’s it!” That makes so many things about my behavior under particular circumstances make sense.

And now the shackles are gone. I have been completely liberated from the burden of the false belief about who I am and how life is.

Ah, sweet freedom! It is totally euphoric.

The mere act of bringing the subconscious to the conscious (bringing the darkness into the light) heals at least 80 percent of the issue immediately. The remainder is typically healed in layers. That’s why certain issues seem to come up again and again and people think, “But, I thought I was done with that.”

And their metaphysical friends, teachers, and counselors, or their psychological professionals will gently remind them that it is like the layers of an onion – they peel off one layer at a time.

I used to believe that myself. That is until I spent a weekend in the mountains and the dolphins taught me otherwise.

So once this all surfaced, I just did the simple exercises the dolphins taught me to do in order to remove the past life trauma at the cellular DNA (encoded) level. And it is permanently transmuted.

None of the issues that I applied the Dolphin Spiral exercises to have ever reappeared.

A couple of months ago I was talking to Bayard of the Cure Show and we somehow got onto this topic of past life trauma. He suggested I tune in and ask how many traumas were influencing me on a daily basis – and to begin by asking if it was more than 100,000. I thought that was an outrageously large number.

We quickly determined that I had about 5000 traumas still affecting me.

He said that what I do must really work since the average person is dealing with 70,000 to 90,000 traumas.

I know you must be thinking – “If I have that much subconscious crap, how will I ever get clear and ever get my life to work?”

The beautiful thing is that many of the traumas are linked. If you had a trauma in one lifetime, that experience allowed you to take on certain fears, limiting beliefs, judgments, and expectations. Until the effects of the trauma are healed at the cellular level, then you will create another set of circumstances in another lifetime.

It gets really convoluted, but it boils down to whatever you believe, you create. So when you have a false set of beliefs running, you tend to create (draw to yourself subconsciously) situations that make that belief appear true. Then those events cause you to experience even more trauma. And it goes on and on and on.

So, when you heal something – particularly if you can find the beginning of the chain – the whole string of traumas just magically disappears. Wow. I am still in awe of how that works.

So after this recent round of healing core issues, when I tuned in about how many traumas were still affecting me, the answer was less than 1500. So the removal of this one major trauma took out more than 50% of the traumas I had been faced with. Lots of other things begin to shift when subconscious programming is altered.

For example, the average person runs a Bovis reading of 20,000. The last time anyone checked, my Bovis reading was approximately 400,000. After I did the healing work, it was approaching 700,000.

What does that mean? Well, I’m not sure exactly. But I do know that ascension is the raising of vibration. So I feel I am definitely heading in the direction I want to be going in.

And the circumstance that first appeared to be so horrible became the catalyst for amazing insight and healing. Like all circumstances, because of the way I chose to view and deal with it, it provided many priceless gifts.

The technology is here. It works. It is easy to apply. So if you are ready to jump up in vibration, to remove your own shackles, and to finally rid yourself of the things that you’d be more than happy to see leave, then why not get started.

Blessings,

Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

Spiritual Warrior

Are You a Spiritual Warrior or a Metaphysical Wimp?

Spiritual Warrior

 

Our original plan was to be Spiritual Warriors.

We came from distant galaxies on a grand mission – to usher Planet Earth and all her inhabitants into the New Age. We held a beautiful vision of a golden age of love and light, where all beings from ants, to rocks, to humans, to lobsters would be honored for their gifts and for who they are.

We are, each of us, cocky rebels and rabel rousers. We actually thought it would be fun. Can you believe that? Deep inside we are each a bit like Hans Solo from Star Wars. We like to do things our own way. We hate joining anything and taking orders, advice, or instructions from others. And we are also like the Three Musketeers. We actually enjoy the fight and it never occurred to us that we wouldn’t win.

So what happened? Read more

Judgment, Hatred, and Fear are Extremely Destructive!

Judgment, Hatred, and Fear are Extremely Destructive!

JudgmentHatredDestructive1

Judgment, hatred, and fear cause issues between individuals and within a person. Holding onto those things actually causes disharmonydisease within the body.

This is what I know. I am an empath. When I “tune in” to a person or situation, I can literally feel what it is that they are feeling. I am a pasty white chick that doesn’t have to worry about being bullied or abused over skin color – be it black, brown, or yellow. The same goes for the gay community. The level of disrespect our non-white and non-strictly heterosexual brothers and sisters in this country are receiving is despicable and simply must stop. There is a fair amount of abuse happening to women as well. All of this is not O.K.
 
It is the nature of our culture to hang out with people like ourselves … it begins in junior high and continues from there. The kids form a clique and they all dress alike, use the same language, have their hair fixed the same, listen to the same music, watch the same shows, attend the same events, have the same beliefs about politics, religion, and pretty much everything else. That spills over into adulthood. Even though the nation is quite diverse and there are infinite choices, most people hang out with people very much like themselves.
 
That’s all fine and good until one group decides there is something wrong with another group, or worse, that this group is better than that one. Or, as so often happens, they take on a belief that every single person of a certain race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc. is ____ (you can fill in the blank). The blank often contains words like bad, evil, criminal, terrorist, etc. No matter what you put in the blank, any blanket statement about how groups of people are is rife with hatred, judgment, and distrust.
 
I have had the great good fortune of traveling the world and meeting all sorts of people. I have friends from many many different religions and every possible color of skin. I’ve also been observing humanity, psychology, what motivates people, how people act and why, for my entire life.
 
This is what I know. There are people who are genuinely kind, sweet, caring, giving, and trustworthy and there are people who are mean, hateful, judgmental, manipulative, and abusive. Most people fall somewhere in between. It doesn’t matter the race, the religion, the gender, the sexual orientation, or anything else.
 

Judging someone because of any of those things is a form of abuse.

To rise in consciousness and awareness, one must review every belief, every fear, every assumption about how life is, who we are, who other people are, and who or what God is.

It is time to rise …
Enlightenment Inner Peace Meditation Course

Rising in Consciousness and Awareness, All Spiritual Paths Lead to Love

All Spiritual Paths Lead to Love, Awareness, Consciousness
For the true seeker, rising in consciousness and awareness, eventually all spiritual paths lead to love. 
People like Hildegard von Bingam and St. Francis were both mystics who remained within the church while continuing to evolve and grow consciously.
 
Some of us are inspired (in spirit) / led / guided to experience and know various paths / teachings / belief systems … while others stay on a single road and, over time, keep rising higher and higher in consciousness and awareness.

I believe it all starts with the true desire, the deep commitment, that arises from within to seek truth and enlightenment. Once the conscious mind has embraced that concept, the Higher Self (I Am Presence) of the individual leads to ideas and experiences that soul wishes to have in order to grow and evolve as it intended before it incarnated.

Sadly, many get stuck in the dogma and fear taught by various religions and belief systems, which prevents them from evolving. They get stuck in their own issues of shame, blame, and victimhood, which again keeps them from evolving.

A true mystic (seeker of truth and enlightenment), will never allow a particular belief system, or self-imposed limitation, stymie them from evolving or rising in vibration, consciousness, and awareness, achieving a state of perpetual peace, joy, and love in the process.
It takes commitment and courage though, and the willingness to break away from the crowd, potentially alienating friends and family in the process. Those who “arrive,” regardless of the path, always speak of love as the key to everything.
Jesus taught that.
Self Realized spiritual guru’s like Yogananada and Satchidananda taught that.
My metaphysical mentor, Stuart Wilde, taught that.

I’m not saying Stuart was an Avatar or Self Realized individual. Although he very well could have been considering his truly extraordinary abilities and insight. Deciding if another is enlightened is definitely not my job. Stuart often said, “If they say they are, they aren’t.” LOL. But Stuart had definitely achieved a high level in vibration and awareness and his teachings helped me break free from a great many things.

Each of these individuals came to “truth” from very different paths. Yet they all reach the same conclusion. Eventually all spiritual paths lead to love.

Jesus arrived at his teachings and beliefs through the Jewish tradition. Yogananada and Satchidananda were raised and trained in eastern philosophy. Stuart was a modern-day Taoist and studied a great deal of Druid and Celtic mysticism. Regardless, all these paths led to the same place.

Love is the thing: to love self, God (by whatever name), others, the earth and all her creatures.
It begins within.
If you need assistance, many of my products, programs, and private sessions can be of great benefit. (Currently we are migrating our shopping cart to a new server. While that is happening, feel free to email me takara at magnificentu.com or call (540) 639-1633 to discuss the products or programs that could benefit you most.)

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Energy Healers Shsman

Energy Healers, Shamans … And Knowing Who to Trust

Energy Healers Shsman

Energy Healers and Shaman

Most spiritual seekers have had an energy healing session of one form or another. Perhaps they have had some sort of color sound therapy, or seen a shaman or other medicine person for a soul retrieval or other process. They have probably had a Reiki session or even been trained in that modality. Typically those seeking energy healing assistance are looking to heal something physically or mentally/emotionally. Or perhaps they want to break through a pattern in which they feel stuck in one or more areas of life. 
I had a spiritual awakening back in 1993. Almost immediately I found books by Stuart Wilde who then became my first spiritual teacher. And I found Karen Schweitzer of the Body Mind Center in Reading, PA, who soon became not only a dear friend, but my go-to energy healer and spiritual adviser for many years. Week after week I went for Reiki sessions, her unique form of past life regression and many other sessions and experiences. I had years of physical and mental / emotional abuse and trauma/drama to heal. Karen helped me find inner peace, taught me numerous practical  techniques for handling stress, and recommended great classes and books. Practically every time I went home from a session with her, it was with a book she was loaning me to read or a stone or object that she had infused with healing energy for me to work with until next time. It was a beautiful time of exploring and involved a massive amounts of energy clearing. I feel so blessed to have found her.

Physical Pain and Entities

Up until the day I met Kaaren Shikiah Kaylor, I had never needed, or even thought of, having an energy session for physical pain. I so rarely have physical pain. But living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the energies there brought up so many things, I often found myself dealing with phantom pain from past lives and had lots of encounters with disharmonious energy, vampires, energetic attachments, etc. Where there is light, there is also darkness.

We had just moved to Santa Fe a few weeks prior and I had been invited to have a booth at a Goddess Weekend in Madrid, NM. As I was setting up the booth, I suddenly began having excruciating back pain. I could hardly walk I was so uncomfortable. I was still setting up the booth when this woman, Shikiah, was doing the opening ceremony. When my then husband, Raven, came back to the booth after the ceremony, he said, “I scheduled you an appointment with Shikiah.” Hmmmm I am freaking picky about who I let work in my energy field. I had never laid eyes on her and yet, I was scheduled for a session. If it weren’t for the pain, I probably would have cancelled. I like to make my own appointments, thank you very much. hahaha

I walked down to the teepee where sessions were being held and went inside. It was so lovely and beautifully decorated in there. Shikiah and I instantly connected and have been dear friends ever since. I was sitting on a cushion and as I explained about the pain, she walked around behind me, grabbed whatever it was in my energy field and threw it off. Whatever it was had hold of me with such intensity that when it let go, I literally fell forward with great force and the pain was absolutely and totally gone, never to return. It was a truly strange experience and it let me know, quite dramatically, that entities are real. After that, whenever I had pain, Shikiah was the one I called on for help.

I Am an Energy Healer

I’m an energy healer, the kind naturally born with the gift. I’ve been called the Chalice of Divine Frequencies and many people come into center and balance just being in my presence or listening to my voice. I am an amplifier and clarifier and I am extremely intuitive. For the past twenty+ years I’ve been in Spirituality and “Energy Healing School” through various ways and means. It all began with Reiki … the doorway many walk through to enter the world of energy healing. It quickly expanded into something else entirely when the dolphin energy healers entered the picture and sort of took over my world. I say that laughingly and lovingly.
According to a channel in New Zealand, I work with “a very fine frequency . . . Feminine integrated energy.”
Hopefully by now you know the story of how I learned to meditate and as soon as I began meditating, dolphins started to spontaneously appear in my visions and dreams, bringing with them powerful energy healing frequencies and processes, which I was then able to transmit to others.

Whatever you are called to do as a true life purpose, those talents and gifts you came in to awaken, activate, fine-tune, and enhance, often require that you grow immensely in consciousness and awareness, healing layer upon layer of fear and limitation in order to step fully into that role. That’s what I’ve been up to for two decades … awakening, activating, fine-tuning, expanding, allowing, healing, growing, in a never ending spiral upward.

Like everyone, I’ve gotten stuck and required assistance to move forward on more than one occasion. I’ve developed friendships and business partnerships with people who showed up so I could fine-tune and hone my “bull shit” meter (pardon the language), my ability to read energy, my ability to sort between the truly, authentically, genuinely Light and the wolves in sheep’s clothing – those who appear light, use all the right words, appear to be intent on helping others, but are instead running hidden agendas and in some cases are energy manipulators or actual energy vampires. If you are going to work with energy, this is something you must master.

Read more about the nature of who I am and what I do here.

How to Tell the Dark from the Light

Sometimes developing the ability to tell the difference takes a bloody long time and the emotional damage created by getting involved with the wrong people can be devastating. Of course all of it is about the learning and there are never truly “wrong” people in your life. Everyone is there for you to learn and grow beyond whatever you are experiencing.
The more your heal your own issues, rise in consciousness and awareness, and have encounters with disharmonious, unkind, manipulative people, the easier it is to spot them next time. If you are on a spiritual path, these are part of the lessons one must learn. If you don’t heal the issues, you will continue to draw those same type of people until you have.

Manipulative Healers

Sadly, there are energy healers out there who do a disservice to others by telling them they have a particular problem, causing them to break down emotionally by pointing out a deep dark shadow issue, but fail to provide solutions. Those types of healers are definitely to be avoided. I find that behavior unkind and manipulative. It is about as irresponsible as someone doing energy healing who hasn’t fine-tuned their ability to see, feel, or hear what is happening in the unseen.
Talk about the blind leading the blind. Just as people you can see range from the Dalai Llama to serial killers, the unseen realms are teaming with everything from angels and Ascended Masters to downright scary entities that you really don’t want to mess with unless you have been trained to do so. Naivety and a few words of protection do not provide a safety net. 
I recently read a thread on social media where a guy said he went to a shaman. The shaman told him that a sorcerer had placed a curse on him, but since he didn’t have much money and this was an initial free consultation, he was left with knowledge about this horrible thing going on, but no solution.  
 
I jumped in to the conversation and agreed with someone else who commented about what you latch onto mentally causes a HUGE impact on your life experience. I almost never get readings and am extremely careful about who I let do any form of “healing” with me or do work on my energy field.
If what the shaman said was really there, they should have cleared it out completely, disconnected them from the person, and sealed up and protected their energy field, then taught them things to keep that going.
You have to take part in your own healing. You can’t be “fixed” entirely by another. A lot of it is belief and the release of fear.
Energetic attacks are real. But anyone talking about “bad” things that result in doubt and fear within a client, needs to also be giving them tools and advice about how to remedy the situation. Just planting seeds of doubt and fear is no good for anyone. It is, however, a great way to get repeat customers who need to be continuously “fixed.” Maybe that was not the shaman’s conscious intention, but it definitely could have been. As a side note, most true shaman would never call themselves that. As my dear teacher, Stuart Wilde, once said … If they call themselves a master, they aren’t.
The person went on to say that the healing was incomplete because it was initially a free intro. After discussing finances, the guy left depressed.
 
That sounds to me like a scam to get customers. It is, sadly, human nature to give power over to those who seem to know more than we do about various things – particularly when dealing with the unseen realms. When I say give power over, I mean believe, without any filters whatsoever, whatever they say.
And belief happens not only with the conscious mind, but the unconscious as well. You may think one thing and believe something else entirely. True healers, those born with the gift and who have spent years honing and fine-tuning it are rare.
When you have cleared, healed, and aligned yourself enough, then the energy and intention of others becomes more apparent. You can then, fairly easily, tell the energy level (meaning clarity and level of consciousness) of whomever you are going to for support.
Until then, you end up in situations like this person did. This is not a bad thing, it is a learning experience. The more difficult encounters you have had with energy and people running hidden agendas, the more you grow and evolve as a person. It’s like training wheels for your personal mastery.

Some Will Steal Your Power

Selo Black Crow, a Lakota Medicine Man, once looked me in the eye and said “Never go to a Medicine Man for healing because he will steal your power.” I was shocked to hear him say those words. But then I went to a female Native American friend and repeated what he said. She gave me this look that kind of said to me “you poor ignorant white girl” and said, “yes, everyone knows that.” Well I didn’t know it.
I am not at all saying that all Medicine Men, shaman, or energy healers will do these things. There are some extraordinary healers out there that can literally facilitate miracles. I’m just saying be careful and don’t assume just because they call themselves shaman or Reiki Master, and show you a laundry list of training certifications, that they are any different than other people. Some are nice. Some aren’t. It really is that simple.

How Can You Tell?

If you spend time with someone and afterwards you feel confusion, worry, exhaustion, or self doubt, that is a neon sign that you have been manipulated energetically and/or mentally. Clear the energy between you and spend less time with them if at all possible.

How often do you take the time to meditate, open the energy channels within the body, connect to the earth and your Higher Self?

These are actions I take every single day. I encourage you to do the same. As you continue the practice, you will become better at determining  people who are running harmonious empowering energy vs the opposite.

Have a glorious day,

Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

 

 

 

P.S. When you need help, give me a call. When you are truly ready to clear out the crap and rise dramatically in consciousness and awareness, sign up for my Magnificent U Foundation intensive.

 

Shoulds Destroy Relationships

Shoulds Can Destroy Relationships and Self Esteem

Shoulds Destroy Relationships

The bloody shoulds destroy relationships and self-esteem.

Blame, shame, victimhood, guilt … often create terrible destruction and rarely anything positive.

Blaming Others

The only way for a person to be happy is to stop blaming others and outside circumstances for their unhappiness. You have to take responsibility for how you react to the words and actions of other people. People’s behavior is one thing. Your reaction to it is all about you and nothing at all to do with them.

If you want a great relationship with someone, you have to create it and make it a priority.

You have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate the other person just the way they are. Of course, they have to do the same for your.

Developing kindness, compassion, caring, and being conscientious of how your words and actions affect others is something you (as in all people) simply have to learn how to do if you ever want great relationships.

The problem for most people is that it is impossible to do those things for another until one learns to do it for themselves – meaning you have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate yourself. You have to see your own brilliance. You also have to see your shortcomings and love yourself anyway.

When you can do that, others will also. That’s just how it works.

It took me years to figure all this out and apply it in my own life by truly learning to love and appreciate myself.

Shoulds Destroy Relationships

Emotional distress happens when you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others or are attached to how you think you and they “should” be behaving. When they (or you) don’t behave the way you think they “should,” you get upset. It’s human nature. It is also something everyone needs to learn to get over.

When you get angry, upset, or sad because someone didn’t behave the way you think they “should” have, that is a great opportunity to take a long hard look, heal, and release, the underlying cause of your anger or sadness. The current circumstance is simply a mirror showing you something that is still “broken” within. It is never about the other person or situation. It is always about the one reacting.

People have good days and bad days. They are imperfect. Sometimes they are fun and interesting and other times they are grumpy. Sometimes they have energy to do things and other days they can barely get out of bed. That is just the truth.

Some people are night owls while other are morning people. Some people are naturally more kind. Kindness is really important to me.

Think Before You Speak

If someone is mean, calls people names, is constantly judging, complaining about, and criticizing others, I simply refuse to hang out with them. They obviously are not showing honor or respect for those other people.

If the people you tend to hang out with act this way, it’s time for new friends. It’s also time to look in the mirror because people are often drawn to people much like themselves.  You have to learn to think about how it would feel if someone said that to you, before you speak it out loud. Check out this article on Living the Golden Rule – the rule book I follow in life.

If you have done something unkind, then recognize it, forgive yourself first, then apologize, and move on. In the future, think before you speak or act.

Learning and growing is why we are here. We don’t expect a toddler to always be nice or know how to do everything already. Yet we expect ourselves, and others, to do everything perfectly all the time. When in truth, we are all just learning and growing.

This is a little saying I came up with some time ago:
“They are doing the best they can with what they’ve got
Be it what they’ve experienced or what they’ve been taught.”

In every given moment, we are all doing the best we can. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Yes, we could all do better. But because of stress, environment, fears, limiting beliefs, judgments, expectations, attachments to outcomes, shame, blame, victimhood, and guilt, we behave less than best a great deal of the time. We can beat ourselves and others up over this forever. Or we can let it go, forgive, and move on.

We are also greatly influenced by the expectations of others. If someone thinks we always screw up, we tend to screw up. If someone thinks we are brilliant, we tend to be brilliant. How you are viewed in the eyes and unspoken beliefs of those you surround yourself with does have an impact on you – whether beneficial or detrimental.

They did a study a long time ago. I am not remembering all the details, but this was the gist of it: A teacher was given the name of each of her new students for the school year along with their locker number. However the teacher was told that the locker number was the student’s IQ. Whether the teacher openly treated students differently with what she thought was a higher IQ or if she simply had higher expectations of those students with high numbers and lesser expectations of those with low numbers, at the end of the year the student scores matched her expectations. Even for children who usually got A’s, if their number was lower, they got lower grades.

How you believe people are is how they behave in your presence. If you think people are jerks, then you tend to be surrounded by jerks. A lot of it has to do with your own beliefs and expectations. When you change, the experiences you have with others changes as well.

Feed Your Mind the Right Things

We are comprised of 70 to 80% water. The studies by Masaru Emoto showed dramatic shifts in water structure by simply taping different words (written in Japanese Kanje / calligraphy) on a glass of water. http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html  Check out the images, they are fascinating.

Hate caused severe distortion. Love caused extraordinarily beautiful and intricate crystalline structure. Music, news, conversation all have a real tangible effect on your body and therefore your mind and emotions. What you feed your mind matters. Who you surround yourself with matters. How you speak to others and how you let them speak to you matters. What you listen to, even your self talk, all makes a huge difference in how well you do in life and your level of happiness and success.

Many success experts say that you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. When you are stuck and wanting to change, the first thing to do is change who you hang out with. If you can’t do that physically, then do it through audio, video, and books. I know a very successful woman who used to read the autobiography’s of very famous people and then, in her mind, pretend that those people were sitting around a table talking with her – her own mental board room. She had “gotten into their head” by reading all about them and then started having conversations, asking questions, making decisions as if they were her friends and advisers. The famous book, Think and Grow Rich, would suggest something similar.

I used to listen to audios and read books by my favorite spiritual teacher. On my way to and from work, I listened to his words of wisdom. I read and listened so often that sometimes I would suddenly hear him say a line or two in my head. It was very empowering and eventually helped me find the courage to leave an incredibly stressful career environment and head out into the unknown to find joy, passion, and my true life’s calling.

Now, with the Magnificent U Foundation Course, I’ve created a way for people to take a deep dive into my work, read my words and hear my voice, related to personal and spiritual growth, energy healing, inspiration, new thoughts and perspectives about life, to truly become empowered and find their own courage to become magnificent and have greater relationships and a more meaningful life experience.

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like this one on getting stuck in the negative thinking spin and the others mentioned at the bottom of it. As well as this article about the Golden Rule and education.

May you experience magnificent relationships,
Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

What Labels Do You Give Yourself and Others That Keep You From the Divine Truth?

What Labels Do You Give Yourself and Others That Keep You From the Divine Truth?

StopLabelingSm

How to let go of the labels and step into the Divine truth, the magnificence, the uniqueness, and oneness of who you are.

This video does an extraordinary job of discussing labels. Labels divide us. They make us compare and disconnect from others.

 

Labels divide us. They make us compare and disconnect from others. Click To Tweet

 

The video talks about the division between races. But labels go much further. They divide us because of religion, gender, economic status, education level and so much more.

We are all human. We are all emanations of the same Divine Source. We are all living extraordinary spiritual adventures here on planet earth and are here to grow and evolve as individuals. A few of the lessons we each must learn along the way include the realization of how we are similar, that Creator made everyone equal, that all are beautiful children of the Divine and no one is more or less blessed than another. Each person is born with unique gifts and talents and all are sacred.

When you look deeply into someone’s eyes, you look beyond skin color and other apparent differences. You touch the beauty of the soul. The truth of what lives there is love.

 

When you look deeply into someone's eyes ... You touch the beauty of the soul. Click To Tweet

 

When you discover your own magnificence, your own sacredness, when your self esteem and joy soar because you know are one with All That Is, it becomes infinitely easier to see the beauty and sacredness of others.

Ahhh what a glorious feeling to be in Unity with All.

May you find great joy and meaning in these words,

Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

10 Great Tips on How to Love, Honor, and Appreciate Everyone!

10 Great Tips on How to Love, Honor, and Appreciate Everyone!

Love-HonorSm

It is not always easy to find the “good” in everyone or to genuinely learn to like and appreciate them.

I have a set of beliefs that makes this easier, or at least worth attempting to do. These beliefs or realizations are based on years of study, experience, and what I call “divine revelation (they come to me spontaneously in meditation and at other times when I am quiet and at peace)”:

  1. We are all emanations of the same Divine Source. You can say we are all children of God or spirits inside a body having a human experience or whatever words resonate most with you. The bottom line is, that spark of Divinity inside each of us is worthy of respect.
  2. Regardless of how they are acting, this is a little saying I “received” one day: They are doing the best they can with what they’ve got, whether its what they’ve experienced or what they’ve been taught.
  3. Bullies have typically been bullied. A very famous comment is “Hurt people, hurt people.” Any act of unkindness is typically a sign that the person has been seriously mistreated. I find it easier to feel compassion knowing this.
  4. Our job is to love, honor, accept, and appreciate everyone. There are a multitude of reasons for this. One of those reasons is that if we do that to others, then others will do it to us – the Law of Cause and Effect. Love, honor, acceptance, and appreciation is what everyone is seeking and deserves. Attempting to do that for everyone is my version of following The Golden Rule.
  5. Everything in life happens for a reason. Any discomfort going on in the moment is about learning something about who you are (the shadow self) and the opportunity to heal whatever needs to be healed. It is never about the other person and what they are doing or saying. How are you reacting (and why)? Is it showing you judgments, expectations, “shoulds,” and other things that definitely need to be healed and let go of.
  6. Very similar to the last one … all is as it should be.
  7. Our job is to embrace each moment, not fight against it. I have MANY articles about how to flow with change rather than resist.
  8. Every moment of every day is on purpose. Your soul is here on a spiritual adventure to evolve and grow. Every moment, every encounter, every situation, every person is there because your soul called them there for you to learn something, experience something, etc. Instead of being angry at the person or situation, fighting it, wishing it was different, go deeper and ask “why,” what can I learn, what can I heal, what can I let go of, how is this thought, belief, or judgment holding me back from becoming the person I am intending (on a soul level) to be?
  9. Joy is your natural state of being. Feeling anything less than that is an opportunity to learn and grow. The more out of sorts, angry, sad, riled up over things you are, the more easily something deeply buried is to find, heal, and release.
  10. And finally one of the other sayings I received through divine revelation: You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

 

In order to step into your true Magnificence, you have to get outside of your comfort zone. It is in those moments of discomfort, when you are feeling stretched, pushed, and uncomfortable, that the greatest positive change is possible.

I would not be a bestselling author if I had not moved beyond my discomfort to take the actions required to do so.

I would not be nearly as healthy, happy, or have such a joy-filled adventurous life if I had not gone WAY outside my comfort zone on numerous occasions to try new things, study new things, look at everything from a completely different perspective, or do and say things that were uncomfortable.

Helping others find peace, joy, and gain a new perspective, even while going through a really rough time, is one of my super powers. I offer private consultations for those needing laser-targeted assistance and wishing to make huge leaps in consciousness and awareness, truly breaking free of blocks and limitations and stepping into their true Magnificence. For those in a leadership role, these breakthroughs allow them to be of even greater service and help even more people in a bigger way.

All of the Dancing Dolphin Sacred Healing Oils & Mists assist in bringing peace and a new perspective as well.

Have a glorious day!

Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature