Harmony for the Holidays

Harmony for the Holidays

I’ve never been to a holiday gathering with family or friends where there was anything but harmony for the holidays … ever … my entire life. I’m talking about never witnessing first hand a family gathering full of discord. It doesn’t matter if it was with immediate or extended family, the family of a boyfriend, fiance, or husband, or a gathering in my own home of friends who didn’t all know one another before the gathering … harmony and delight at being in one another’s presence has always been pervasive at these events.

It begins within.

And it begins with the parents. If the parents love, honor, accept, and appreciate themselves, they also love, honor, accept, and appreciate their own parents, their siblings, their children, etc.

Each child needs to be taught to love, honor, accept, and appreciate themselves and then to extend that to others as well.

The result of such loving and honoring is harmony within all the relationships.

I can’t even imagine doing life any other way.

Harmony for the Holidays

Does that mean I’ve never encountered disharmony?

Hardly!

I went from being highly popular and enjoying so many delightful friends in schools both in New Jersey and Texas … to being severely bullied, rejected, and having only a few friends in a small town in Virginia. High school was hell … there’s no other more pleasant way to put it. The bullying was so bad that for at least a year or more I came home and cried every single day. I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong, why I didn’t fit in, why people didn’t like me. I was in such foreign territory.

I’d also never been anywhere that people pretended to like you to your face and then talked badly about you behind your back. Being an empath, you can pick up on the incongruence immediately. You can literally “feel” when someone doesn’t like you. Trust me, it doesn’t feel good.

Once I was no longer in high school (being forced to be around people who didn’t like me and, therefore, whom I didn’t like in return) I began to thrive. I quickly developed a network of friends at work and at college. I began taking a leadership role in professional organizations and that has continued to this day. I am deeply deeply blessed to have so many friends.

But that didn’t happen by accident or because I’m more special than anyone else. It happened because I got very clear that I wanted a wonderful group of friends. You might have seen other articles where I talk about the affirmations I used to say about friendship. It goes something like this, “I want interesting, fun, uplifting friends all over the world who are making a positive difference.” And now, after many years of “receiving” teachings that have helped me formulate my own teachings, I would add: “We each love, honor, accept, and appreciate one another and are deLighted to be in one another’s presence and feel blessed to have each other in our lives.”

I highly recommend you do something similar when it comes to all your relationships … romance, friendships, business partnerships, with co-workers, committee members, and everything else you participate in. Intend harmony. Intend peace. Intend cooperation, admiration, appreciation, acknowledgement, friendship, and yes, even love (not the romantic kind, the Divine unconditional kind).

When people seek my advice about romance, I help them get crystal clear about what they are looking for in both a partner and in the relationship itself. I help them form a picture in their own mind and words to describe exactly what they are seeking. And I often suggest that they add something about it being a “mutual admiration society” where you each feel truly blessed to have the other in your life.  The best relationships involve partners who continue to feel that way over time. I’m not talking about living with rosy colored glasses, not seeing the truth or flaws in the other. I’m talking about seeing them even more clearly than most and loving, honoring, accepting, and appreciating them for exactly who they are … warts and all. Both partners have to feel that way though. Honesty and integrity are key.

But just like developing harmony around the table at the holidays, you have to love yourself first. You have to see your value, your gifts, your unique magnificent glorious self with all its fabulous talents and all its spectacular flaws and love yourself, appreciate yourself, be OK with yourself when you screw up, and delight in yourself when you succeed regardless. You aren’t perfect. You are human. It just comes with the territory.

The more you learn to love, honor, accept, and appreciate you, the easier it is to do the same for others … and the more often others offer the same to you.

Back to harmony at the holidays ….

You can intend a different outcome within your home, around the table, watching the game or whatever rituals your family follows when they gather. Before people arrive you can set your intention (not being attached to it going that way) for harmony, love, happiness, laughter, joy, and fun – or whatever joyful things you wish to experience for yourself and those you love enough to invite into your home.

Harmony 4 the Holidays - Before people arrive you can set your intention for harmony, love, happiness, laughter, joy, and fun - or whatever joyful things you wish to experience for yourself and those you love. Click To Tweet

Fear screws it all up of course. If you are afraid that there will be disharmony … guess what will happen?

You already know the answer.

You get more of what you focus on … so you must divert your attention AWAY from the things you do not want and TOWARD the things you do.

  • Focus on peace and feel it throughout your body and your home.
  • Focus on love and feel it throughout your body and your home.
  • Focus on harmony and feel it throughout your body and your home.
  • Focus on joy and feel it throughout your body and your home.
  • Focus on compassion and feel it throughout your body and your home.
  • Focus on deep, meaningful, conversations and feel it throughout your body and your home.
  • You get the idea … decide what you want to experience and imagine it real.
  • Tip – It is a lot easier to feel something if you close your eyes.

 

LOA Imagine it real

 

Bring In Harmony for the Holidays

Imagine a giant bubble of light surrounding the table where you will eat and calling in your Higher Self and Guides asking that the bubble of light be infused with love, joy, laughter, delight, companionship, harmony, peace, etc. etc.

See a similar bubble around your entire home and again ask your support team to infuse it with harmony, peace, joy, and love. Add the other words that have great meaning to you and that you wish to have in your home.

See a giant block of violet flame or light (like the purple image above only less dense) over a foot thick in front of your entire front door – or whatever door people enter. Everyone who enters will be cleansed of any icky sticky disharmonious, noxious, disempowering, or negative energy as they enter. It’s like taking a beautiful violet light bath. It brightens the mood and feels totally glorious.

Tip – you don’t have to wait for the holidays to do these things. You can do it anytime you desire.

I recommend you energetically clear and infuse your conscious intention into your home, your vehicle, and other places you frequently visit. And I suggest that you do it often. To learn extraordinarily effective clearing and infusing techniques (much more powerful than simple intention), take my online dowsing course or my new Dancing Dolphin Way of Healing and Enlightenment training once I get the sales page up.

Have a delightful day today and every day,

Takara

 

“Thanksgiving table” cc license by Jameson Fink,

I Crashed and Burned So You Don’t Have To!

I had everything everyone chasing the American Dream thinks they want. I had a prestigious job with excellent pay, a gorgeous little red sports car, a handsome man in my life, a fabulous house, and I got to enjoy exotic travel really often. I was an engineer and the only female manager at the pharmaceutical manufacturing facility where I worked. Forty people reported directly to me.  I was at the top of my game …

But along with the great career came a ridiculous amount of stress.

The plant where I worked was installing a plantwide computer system to handle inventory, materials tracking, etc. It was my job to implement the system “on the floor.” I had to teach big burly material handlers how to use a computer. Some of them were even uncomfortable using calculators. As the system went live, every five minutes Read more

Choosing the Best Place to Relocate for the Spiritually-Minded

Choosing the Best Place to Relocate for the Spiritually-Minded

Best Place to Relocate

We were in the middle of a huge discussion about choosing the best place to relocate in one of the groups I lead on Facebook. Moving is something many light workers are called to do on occasion. With that in mind, I thought I would share some of the thoughts here that I have been sharing there. Just some things for you to contemplate if moving is on the horizon. This particular discussion began with the person wanting to live near the beach and to see dolphins often …

When it comes to moving, I strongly encourage you to Read more

Enlightenment Inner Peace Meditation Course

Rising in Consciousness and Awareness, All Spiritual Paths Lead to Love

All Spiritual Paths Lead to Love, Awareness, Consciousness
For the true seeker, rising in consciousness and awareness, eventually all spiritual paths lead to love. 
People like Hildegard von Bingam and St. Francis were both mystics who remained within the church while continuing to evolve and grow consciously.
 
Some of us are inspired (in spirit) / led / guided to experience and know various paths / teachings / belief systems … while others stay on a single road and, over time, keep rising higher and higher in consciousness and awareness.

I believe it all starts with the true desire, the deep commitment, that arises from within to seek truth and enlightenment. Once the conscious mind has embraced that concept, the Higher Self (I Am Presence) of the individual leads to ideas and experiences that soul wishes to have in order to grow and evolve as it intended before it incarnated.

Sadly, many get stuck in the dogma and fear taught by various religions and belief systems, which prevents them from evolving. They get stuck in their own issues of shame, blame, and victimhood, which again keeps them from evolving.

A true mystic (seeker of truth and enlightenment), will never allow a particular belief system, or self-imposed limitation, stymie them from evolving or rising in vibration, consciousness, and awareness, achieving a state of perpetual peace, joy, and love in the process.
It takes commitment and courage though, and the willingness to break away from the crowd, potentially alienating friends and family in the process. Those who “arrive,” regardless of the path, always speak of love as the key to everything.
Jesus taught that.
Self Realized spiritual guru’s like Yogananada and Satchidananda taught that.
My metaphysical mentor, Stuart Wilde, taught that.

I’m not saying Stuart was an Avatar or Self Realized individual. Although he very well could have been considering his truly extraordinary abilities and insight. Deciding if another is enlightened is definitely not my job. Stuart often said, “If they say they are, they aren’t.” LOL. But Stuart had definitely achieved a high level in vibration and awareness and his teachings helped me break free from a great many things.

Each of these individuals came to “truth” from very different paths. Yet they all reach the same conclusion. Eventually all spiritual paths lead to love.

Jesus arrived at his teachings and beliefs through the Jewish tradition. Yogananada and Satchidananda were raised and trained in eastern philosophy. Stuart was a modern-day Taoist and studied a great deal of Druid and Celtic mysticism. Regardless, all these paths led to the same place.

Love is the thing: to love self, God (by whatever name), others, the earth and all her creatures.
It begins within.
If you need assistance, many of my products, programs, and private sessions can be of great benefit. (Currently we are migrating our shopping cart to a new server. While that is happening, feel free to email me takara at magnificentu.com or call (540) 639-1633 to discuss the products or programs that could benefit you most.)

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Spiritual Gifts & Talents

Getting to Know Your Spiritual Gifts and Talents

Spiritual Gifts & Talents

We all have a unique gift, skill, or talent that we are here to express. Some even have spiritual gifts that they are to use to help others. The expression of these gifts and talents often bring joy, peace, healing, or understanding to the individual, and in some cases, other people.

For some, a spiritual gift might be songs that they hear in their head, or symbols or images they see in their mind’s eye. A clairaudient person might hear songs or words. A clairvoyant person might imagine a picture and draw or paint it. I have many friends who “receive” words and symbols.

I am deeply blessed to know … Read more

Press Release Faerie and Earth Festival, Asheville, NC

Press Release Faerie and Earth Festival, Asheville, NC

Faerie and Earth Festival Asheville

For Immediate Release

THE OCEAN IS COMING TO ASHEVILLE

ASHEVILLE, NC, May 15, 2016  Bestselling authors, Cyndie Lepori and D. Takara Shelor, bring mermaids, dolphins, and other elements of the sea to the Faerie and Earth Festival May 21st and 22nd.

The two ladies met a couple of years ago through a book collaboration led by Takara. The book, Dolphins & Whales Forever, became a #1 bestseller on Amazon.

They have much in common. They are both authors, jewelry designers, artists, and have both lived on a boat. Cyndie lived on her own sailboat for 5 years in the Gulf and the Bahamas. Takara liked on a yacht in Fiji and the South Pacific for awhile.

That is such a far cry from where they each began. Cyndie was once a nurse in Mississippi. Takara was an engineer and manager in the pharmaceutical industry in Pennsylvania. But they each felt “the call” of the ocean, dolphins, and whales. Takara moved to the San Juan Islands to be near orcas and later San Diego to be near dolphins. Cyndie went to Gulf Shores, AL and then to Florida to be near dolphins and live on the water.

At the ocean and mermaid-themed booth, you will find books, jewelry, art, pendulums, Dancing Dolphin oils & mists, Mardella Fine Art, t-shirts, note cards, magnets and more. Just look for the canopy with scales and the whale tail.

For more information about Cyndie, visit www.dolphinhugs4u2.net.
For more information about Takara, visit www.magnificentu.com or www.magnificentu.com/Store.
For more information about the Faerie and Earth Festival, visit http://enchantedwalkabouts.com/faerie-and-earth-festivals/
***
Raise Self Esteem

Fast (and free) Way to Raise Self Esteem

Raise Self Esteem

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Please forgive me.”

Everywhere you go, you hear someone saying these words. Maybe it’s even you saying them.

Stop it immediately.

Please.

Especially if you are interested in manifesting your desires, improving your health, and being happier in life. These words can destroy your self-esteem. Or, if you are already suffering or struggling with low self-esteem, they can take you even lower and deeper into that.

After twenty years of working with highly-refined energies, dowsing, meditation, and being an empath, I’ve become … like a human pendulum for what is helpful or hurtful to the human body, mind, and spirit. I can literally feel, within my own body, how beneficial or detrimental various words and phrases are to the personal speaking them, how foods, herbs, and drugs affect the person taking them, and even how people they spend time with empower or disempower them.

As I shared in The Power of Words, what you place after the words, “I Am” are critical to health, happiness, and success.

If you desire flow, freedom, and a rise in vibration, then detrimental words like these simply must be eliminated.

How easy do you think it is for a “sorry individual” to experience freedom and flow, health and happiness?

I’m not saying to suddenly become rude or inconsiderate. What I’m saying is to be careful how you say it.

As my beloved teacher, Stuart Wilde, used to say, “Your word is law.” And it is. Every word you utter is a command to the subconscious mind about what you want in life.

In the beginning was The Word … I’m sure you’ve heard or seen that before.

Since you are a spark of Divinity having a human experience, your word is a powerful tool in your manifestation toolbox.

They say you should watch your thoughts. What you verbalize has infinitely more power than mere thought alone.

Improve Self Esteem Self Confidence

Back to the idea of your word is law. Stuart said, “never make promises.” Definitely never make idle promises. But, if you have to say you will or will not do something, if you say you will, then do. If for some reason you can’t, let people know and make it right.

Living in New Mexico, I had to learn the hard way about flowing with change and expectations.

Plans are constantly changing there. People can’t make it to various events they signed up for. There might be a family emergency, a flood (literally) preventing road crossings, or some health issue or another. You quickly learn to live fully in the moment without expectations of what the moment you are in is supposed to look like.

Learn to trust that if something is “supposed” to happen, it will. And if a certain person is supposed to be there, they will be. The more you move into living that way, the less your happiness depends on the behavior of others, or yourself.

When you can drop expectations, you are totally free.

Who you are is a magnificent being with unique gifts, skills, and talents.

The more you apologize, the more you are telling your subconscious mind that you are not enough, that you screwed up … again, that you let someone down … again. That is nonsense.

These are not the affirmations you want to be making to the world about what you want in your life.

Yes, if you make a promise, call and say something came up and you need to reschedule. But say, “I apologize,” or “sorry,” but never “I’m sorry.”

When you have reached Avatar status, and successfully healed all your own issues, then it is time to consider taking on issues outside self. Until then, I think that Jesus quote makes great sense: “Don’t try to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye until you’ve gotten rid of the plank from your own.” As long as you are running the three core human fears:

  1. fear you aren’t enough
  2. fear you are unloveable
  3. fear of abandonment

you will have damaged self-esteem and you need to actively work on improving it. Saying I’m sorry is counterproductive to that cause.

I can hear you saying, “but what about the phrase, ‘I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You’ made famous by Dr. Joe Vitale?

Bless people and situations, absolutely, it is very empowering to you and them to do so. But those are not the best words to choose.

  • “I love you” – powerful words. That is a great thing to say to bless another or a situation. “I bless you” or “bless you” is another.
  • “I’m sorry” – don’t be. We’ve already discussed why. I go into it further in the other article I mentioned.
  • “Please forgive me” – for what? What did you do to feel the need to beg forgiveness and from whom? Who are you begging forgiveness of all day?
  • “Thank you” – another great thing to say. Any affirmation of gratitude is a great mantra to have.

So overall these statements negate one another internally. Thank heavens they end on a positive note.

It would be much better to leave off the two that are disempowering, particularly for anyone struggling with self-esteem issues.

If you have not already accomplished all your goals, then self-esteem – belief in self, belief on all levels that you deserve your desires, belief in your gifts, your magnificence, your own Divine – is definitely something you still need to work on.

We are all still working on these things. It is part of the lessons of planet earth.

On the path toward enlightenment, being empowered, learning to speak in an empowered way is part of the journey. Pay attention to your words and choose those that are empowering and will assist you in raising your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Just as I was completing this article, I came across this statement: “the late Dr. Emoto always said, ‘Love and Gratitude’ is the most beautiful energy and it improves immunity.” This is referring to the water molecule experiments of Dr. Masaru Emoto. So, just as I concluded that love and gratitude were the most empowering words, Dr. Emoto’s findings agree.

Have a deLightful day,

Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

 

 

 

 

Return from the Fast (and free) Way to Raise Self Esteem Page to the Magnificent U Home Page

*Image CreativeCommons Use from Alachua County on Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/alachuacounty/

Energy Healers Shsman

Energy Healers, Shamans … And Knowing Who to Trust

Energy Healers Shsman

Energy Healers and Shaman

Most spiritual seekers have had an energy healing session of one form or another. Perhaps they have had some sort of color sound therapy, or seen a shaman or other medicine person for a soul retrieval or other process. They have probably had a Reiki session or even been trained in that modality. Typically those seeking energy healing assistance are looking to heal something physically or mentally/emotionally. Or perhaps they want to break through a pattern in which they feel stuck in one or more areas of life. 
I had a spiritual awakening back in 1993. Almost immediately I found books by Stuart Wilde who then became my first spiritual teacher. And I found Karen Schweitzer of the Body Mind Center in Reading, PA, who soon became not only a dear friend, but my go-to energy healer and spiritual adviser for many years. Week after week I went for Reiki sessions, her unique form of past life regression and many other sessions and experiences. I had years of physical and mental / emotional abuse and trauma/drama to heal. Karen helped me find inner peace, taught me numerous practical  techniques for handling stress, and recommended great classes and books. Practically every time I went home from a session with her, it was with a book she was loaning me to read or a stone or object that she had infused with healing energy for me to work with until next time. It was a beautiful time of exploring and involved a massive amounts of energy clearing. I feel so blessed to have found her.

Physical Pain and Entities

Up until the day I met Kaaren Shikiah Kaylor, I had never needed, or even thought of, having an energy session for physical pain. I so rarely have physical pain. But living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the energies there brought up so many things, I often found myself dealing with phantom pain from past lives and had lots of encounters with disharmonious energy, vampires, energetic attachments, etc. Where there is light, there is also darkness.

We had just moved to Santa Fe a few weeks prior and I had been invited to have a booth at a Goddess Weekend in Madrid, NM. As I was setting up the booth, I suddenly began having excruciating back pain. I could hardly walk I was so uncomfortable. I was still setting up the booth when this woman, Shikiah, was doing the opening ceremony. When my then husband, Raven, came back to the booth after the ceremony, he said, “I scheduled you an appointment with Shikiah.” Hmmmm I am freaking picky about who I let work in my energy field. I had never laid eyes on her and yet, I was scheduled for a session. If it weren’t for the pain, I probably would have cancelled. I like to make my own appointments, thank you very much. hahaha

I walked down to the teepee where sessions were being held and went inside. It was so lovely and beautifully decorated in there. Shikiah and I instantly connected and have been dear friends ever since. I was sitting on a cushion and as I explained about the pain, she walked around behind me, grabbed whatever it was in my energy field and threw it off. Whatever it was had hold of me with such intensity that when it let go, I literally fell forward with great force and the pain was absolutely and totally gone, never to return. It was a truly strange experience and it let me know, quite dramatically, that entities are real. After that, whenever I had pain, Shikiah was the one I called on for help.

I Am an Energy Healer

I’m an energy healer, the kind naturally born with the gift. I’ve been called the Chalice of Divine Frequencies and many people come into center and balance just being in my presence or listening to my voice. I am an amplifier and clarifier and I am extremely intuitive. For the past twenty+ years I’ve been in Spirituality and “Energy Healing School” through various ways and means. It all began with Reiki … the doorway many walk through to enter the world of energy healing. It quickly expanded into something else entirely when the dolphin energy healers entered the picture and sort of took over my world. I say that laughingly and lovingly.
According to a channel in New Zealand, I work with “a very fine frequency . . . Feminine integrated energy.”
Hopefully by now you know the story of how I learned to meditate and as soon as I began meditating, dolphins started to spontaneously appear in my visions and dreams, bringing with them powerful energy healing frequencies and processes, which I was then able to transmit to others.

Whatever you are called to do as a true life purpose, those talents and gifts you came in to awaken, activate, fine-tune, and enhance, often require that you grow immensely in consciousness and awareness, healing layer upon layer of fear and limitation in order to step fully into that role. That’s what I’ve been up to for two decades … awakening, activating, fine-tuning, expanding, allowing, healing, growing, in a never ending spiral upward.

Like everyone, I’ve gotten stuck and required assistance to move forward on more than one occasion. I’ve developed friendships and business partnerships with people who showed up so I could fine-tune and hone my “bull shit” meter (pardon the language), my ability to read energy, my ability to sort between the truly, authentically, genuinely Light and the wolves in sheep’s clothing – those who appear light, use all the right words, appear to be intent on helping others, but are instead running hidden agendas and in some cases are energy manipulators or actual energy vampires. If you are going to work with energy, this is something you must master.

Read more about the nature of who I am and what I do here.

How to Tell the Dark from the Light

Sometimes developing the ability to tell the difference takes a bloody long time and the emotional damage created by getting involved with the wrong people can be devastating. Of course all of it is about the learning and there are never truly “wrong” people in your life. Everyone is there for you to learn and grow beyond whatever you are experiencing.
The more your heal your own issues, rise in consciousness and awareness, and have encounters with disharmonious, unkind, manipulative people, the easier it is to spot them next time. If you are on a spiritual path, these are part of the lessons one must learn. If you don’t heal the issues, you will continue to draw those same type of people until you have.

Manipulative Healers

Sadly, there are energy healers out there who do a disservice to others by telling them they have a particular problem, causing them to break down emotionally by pointing out a deep dark shadow issue, but fail to provide solutions. Those types of healers are definitely to be avoided. I find that behavior unkind and manipulative. It is about as irresponsible as someone doing energy healing who hasn’t fine-tuned their ability to see, feel, or hear what is happening in the unseen.
Talk about the blind leading the blind. Just as people you can see range from the Dalai Llama to serial killers, the unseen realms are teaming with everything from angels and Ascended Masters to downright scary entities that you really don’t want to mess with unless you have been trained to do so. Naivety and a few words of protection do not provide a safety net. 
I recently read a thread on social media where a guy said he went to a shaman. The shaman told him that a sorcerer had placed a curse on him, but since he didn’t have much money and this was an initial free consultation, he was left with knowledge about this horrible thing going on, but no solution.  
 
I jumped in to the conversation and agreed with someone else who commented about what you latch onto mentally causes a HUGE impact on your life experience. I almost never get readings and am extremely careful about who I let do any form of “healing” with me or do work on my energy field.
If what the shaman said was really there, they should have cleared it out completely, disconnected them from the person, and sealed up and protected their energy field, then taught them things to keep that going.
You have to take part in your own healing. You can’t be “fixed” entirely by another. A lot of it is belief and the release of fear.
Energetic attacks are real. But anyone talking about “bad” things that result in doubt and fear within a client, needs to also be giving them tools and advice about how to remedy the situation. Just planting seeds of doubt and fear is no good for anyone. It is, however, a great way to get repeat customers who need to be continuously “fixed.” Maybe that was not the shaman’s conscious intention, but it definitely could have been. As a side note, most true shaman would never call themselves that. As my dear teacher, Stuart Wilde, once said … If they call themselves a master, they aren’t.
The person went on to say that the healing was incomplete because it was initially a free intro. After discussing finances, the guy left depressed.
 
That sounds to me like a scam to get customers. It is, sadly, human nature to give power over to those who seem to know more than we do about various things – particularly when dealing with the unseen realms. When I say give power over, I mean believe, without any filters whatsoever, whatever they say.
And belief happens not only with the conscious mind, but the unconscious as well. You may think one thing and believe something else entirely. True healers, those born with the gift and who have spent years honing and fine-tuning it are rare.
When you have cleared, healed, and aligned yourself enough, then the energy and intention of others becomes more apparent. You can then, fairly easily, tell the energy level (meaning clarity and level of consciousness) of whomever you are going to for support.
Until then, you end up in situations like this person did. This is not a bad thing, it is a learning experience. The more difficult encounters you have had with energy and people running hidden agendas, the more you grow and evolve as a person. It’s like training wheels for your personal mastery.

Some Will Steal Your Power

Selo Black Crow, a Lakota Medicine Man, once looked me in the eye and said “Never go to a Medicine Man for healing because he will steal your power.” I was shocked to hear him say those words. But then I went to a female Native American friend and repeated what he said. She gave me this look that kind of said to me “you poor ignorant white girl” and said, “yes, everyone knows that.” Well I didn’t know it.
I am not at all saying that all Medicine Men, shaman, or energy healers will do these things. There are some extraordinary healers out there that can literally facilitate miracles. I’m just saying be careful and don’t assume just because they call themselves shaman or Reiki Master, and show you a laundry list of training certifications, that they are any different than other people. Some are nice. Some aren’t. It really is that simple.

How Can You Tell?

If you spend time with someone and afterwards you feel confusion, worry, exhaustion, or self doubt, that is a neon sign that you have been manipulated energetically and/or mentally. Clear the energy between you and spend less time with them if at all possible.

How often do you take the time to meditate, open the energy channels within the body, connect to the earth and your Higher Self?

These are actions I take every single day. I encourage you to do the same. As you continue the practice, you will become better at determining  people who are running harmonious empowering energy vs the opposite.

Have a glorious day,

Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

 

 

 

P.S. When you need help, give me a call. When you are truly ready to clear out the crap and rise dramatically in consciousness and awareness, sign up for my Magnificent U Foundation intensive.

 

Shoulds Destroy Relationships

Shoulds Can Destroy Relationships and Self Esteem

Shoulds Destroy Relationships

The bloody shoulds destroy relationships and self-esteem.

Blame, shame, victimhood, guilt … often create terrible destruction and rarely anything positive.

Blaming Others

The only way for a person to be happy is to stop blaming others and outside circumstances for their unhappiness. You have to take responsibility for how you react to the words and actions of other people. People’s behavior is one thing. Your reaction to it is all about you and nothing at all to do with them.

If you want a great relationship with someone, you have to create it and make it a priority.

You have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate the other person just the way they are. Of course, they have to do the same for your.

Developing kindness, compassion, caring, and being conscientious of how your words and actions affect others is something you (as in all people) simply have to learn how to do if you ever want great relationships.

The problem for most people is that it is impossible to do those things for another until one learns to do it for themselves – meaning you have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate yourself. You have to see your own brilliance. You also have to see your shortcomings and love yourself anyway.

When you can do that, others will also. That’s just how it works.

It took me years to figure all this out and apply it in my own life by truly learning to love and appreciate myself.

Shoulds Destroy Relationships

Emotional distress happens when you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others or are attached to how you think you and they “should” be behaving. When they (or you) don’t behave the way you think they “should,” you get upset. It’s human nature. It is also something everyone needs to learn to get over.

When you get angry, upset, or sad because someone didn’t behave the way you think they “should” have, that is a great opportunity to take a long hard look, heal, and release, the underlying cause of your anger or sadness. The current circumstance is simply a mirror showing you something that is still “broken” within. It is never about the other person or situation. It is always about the one reacting.

People have good days and bad days. They are imperfect. Sometimes they are fun and interesting and other times they are grumpy. Sometimes they have energy to do things and other days they can barely get out of bed. That is just the truth.

Some people are night owls while other are morning people. Some people are naturally more kind. Kindness is really important to me.

Think Before You Speak

If someone is mean, calls people names, is constantly judging, complaining about, and criticizing others, I simply refuse to hang out with them. They obviously are not showing honor or respect for those other people.

If the people you tend to hang out with act this way, it’s time for new friends. It’s also time to look in the mirror because people are often drawn to people much like themselves.  You have to learn to think about how it would feel if someone said that to you, before you speak it out loud. Check out this article on Living the Golden Rule – the rule book I follow in life.

If you have done something unkind, then recognize it, forgive yourself first, then apologize, and move on. In the future, think before you speak or act.

Learning and growing is why we are here. We don’t expect a toddler to always be nice or know how to do everything already. Yet we expect ourselves, and others, to do everything perfectly all the time. When in truth, we are all just learning and growing.

This is a little saying I came up with some time ago:
“They are doing the best they can with what they’ve got
Be it what they’ve experienced or what they’ve been taught.”

In every given moment, we are all doing the best we can. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Yes, we could all do better. But because of stress, environment, fears, limiting beliefs, judgments, expectations, attachments to outcomes, shame, blame, victimhood, and guilt, we behave less than best a great deal of the time. We can beat ourselves and others up over this forever. Or we can let it go, forgive, and move on.

We are also greatly influenced by the expectations of others. If someone thinks we always screw up, we tend to screw up. If someone thinks we are brilliant, we tend to be brilliant. How you are viewed in the eyes and unspoken beliefs of those you surround yourself with does have an impact on you – whether beneficial or detrimental.

They did a study a long time ago. I am not remembering all the details, but this was the gist of it: A teacher was given the name of each of her new students for the school year along with their locker number. However the teacher was told that the locker number was the student’s IQ. Whether the teacher openly treated students differently with what she thought was a higher IQ or if she simply had higher expectations of those students with high numbers and lesser expectations of those with low numbers, at the end of the year the student scores matched her expectations. Even for children who usually got A’s, if their number was lower, they got lower grades.

How you believe people are is how they behave in your presence. If you think people are jerks, then you tend to be surrounded by jerks. A lot of it has to do with your own beliefs and expectations. When you change, the experiences you have with others changes as well.

Feed Your Mind the Right Things

We are comprised of 70 to 80% water. The studies by Masaru Emoto showed dramatic shifts in water structure by simply taping different words (written in Japanese Kanje / calligraphy) on a glass of water. http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html  Check out the images, they are fascinating.

Hate caused severe distortion. Love caused extraordinarily beautiful and intricate crystalline structure. Music, news, conversation all have a real tangible effect on your body and therefore your mind and emotions. What you feed your mind matters. Who you surround yourself with matters. How you speak to others and how you let them speak to you matters. What you listen to, even your self talk, all makes a huge difference in how well you do in life and your level of happiness and success.

Many success experts say that you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. When you are stuck and wanting to change, the first thing to do is change who you hang out with. If you can’t do that physically, then do it through audio, video, and books. I know a very successful woman who used to read the autobiography’s of very famous people and then, in her mind, pretend that those people were sitting around a table talking with her – her own mental board room. She had “gotten into their head” by reading all about them and then started having conversations, asking questions, making decisions as if they were her friends and advisers. The famous book, Think and Grow Rich, would suggest something similar.

I used to listen to audios and read books by my favorite spiritual teacher. On my way to and from work, I listened to his words of wisdom. I read and listened so often that sometimes I would suddenly hear him say a line or two in my head. It was very empowering and eventually helped me find the courage to leave an incredibly stressful career environment and head out into the unknown to find joy, passion, and my true life’s calling.

Now, with the Magnificent U Foundation Course, I’ve created a way for people to take a deep dive into my work, read my words and hear my voice, related to personal and spiritual growth, energy healing, inspiration, new thoughts and perspectives about life, to truly become empowered and find their own courage to become magnificent and have greater relationships and a more meaningful life experience.

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like this one on getting stuck in the negative thinking spin and the others mentioned at the bottom of it. As well as this article about the Golden Rule and education.

May you experience magnificent relationships,
Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature

10 Great Tips on How to Love, Honor, and Appreciate Everyone!

10 Great Tips on How to Love, Honor, and Appreciate Everyone!

Love-HonorSm

It is not always easy to find the “good” in everyone or to genuinely learn to like and appreciate them.

I have a set of beliefs that makes this easier, or at least worth attempting to do. These beliefs or realizations are based on years of study, experience, and what I call “divine revelation (they come to me spontaneously in meditation and at other times when I am quiet and at peace)”:

  1. We are all emanations of the same Divine Source. You can say we are all children of God or spirits inside a body having a human experience or whatever words resonate most with you. The bottom line is, that spark of Divinity inside each of us is worthy of respect.
  2. Regardless of how they are acting, this is a little saying I “received” one day: They are doing the best they can with what they’ve got, whether its what they’ve experienced or what they’ve been taught.
  3. Bullies have typically been bullied. A very famous comment is “Hurt people, hurt people.” Any act of unkindness is typically a sign that the person has been seriously mistreated. I find it easier to feel compassion knowing this.
  4. Our job is to love, honor, accept, and appreciate everyone. There are a multitude of reasons for this. One of those reasons is that if we do that to others, then others will do it to us – the Law of Cause and Effect. Love, honor, acceptance, and appreciation is what everyone is seeking and deserves. Attempting to do that for everyone is my version of following The Golden Rule.
  5. Everything in life happens for a reason. Any discomfort going on in the moment is about learning something about who you are (the shadow self) and the opportunity to heal whatever needs to be healed. It is never about the other person and what they are doing or saying. How are you reacting (and why)? Is it showing you judgments, expectations, “shoulds,” and other things that definitely need to be healed and let go of.
  6. Very similar to the last one … all is as it should be.
  7. Our job is to embrace each moment, not fight against it. I have MANY articles about how to flow with change rather than resist.
  8. Every moment of every day is on purpose. Your soul is here on a spiritual adventure to evolve and grow. Every moment, every encounter, every situation, every person is there because your soul called them there for you to learn something, experience something, etc. Instead of being angry at the person or situation, fighting it, wishing it was different, go deeper and ask “why,” what can I learn, what can I heal, what can I let go of, how is this thought, belief, or judgment holding me back from becoming the person I am intending (on a soul level) to be?
  9. Joy is your natural state of being. Feeling anything less than that is an opportunity to learn and grow. The more out of sorts, angry, sad, riled up over things you are, the more easily something deeply buried is to find, heal, and release.
  10. And finally one of the other sayings I received through divine revelation: You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

 

In order to step into your true Magnificence, you have to get outside of your comfort zone. It is in those moments of discomfort, when you are feeling stretched, pushed, and uncomfortable, that the greatest positive change is possible.

I would not be a bestselling author if I had not moved beyond my discomfort to take the actions required to do so.

I would not be nearly as healthy, happy, or have such a joy-filled adventurous life if I had not gone WAY outside my comfort zone on numerous occasions to try new things, study new things, look at everything from a completely different perspective, or do and say things that were uncomfortable.

Helping others find peace, joy, and gain a new perspective, even while going through a really rough time, is one of my super powers. I offer private consultations for those needing laser-targeted assistance and wishing to make huge leaps in consciousness and awareness, truly breaking free of blocks and limitations and stepping into their true Magnificence. For those in a leadership role, these breakthroughs allow them to be of even greater service and help even more people in a bigger way.

All of the Dancing Dolphin Sacred Healing Oils & Mists assist in bringing peace and a new perspective as well.

Have a glorious day!

Bestselling author Debbie Takara Shelor signature