According to the English translation of the bible, Jesus is quoted as saying: “Don’t try to remove the spec from your brother’s eye until you have removed the plank from your own.” I’m quoting from memory, so it might not be exactly those words. It is close enough for you to get the gist though.
It is very simple and wise advice really. Don’t try to help others until you yourself are healed, whole, balanced, integrated, and aligned – body, mind, and soul. Yet all over the globe wounded healers, psychics, coaches and others are trying to help clients and friends when they themselves are still an emotionally wounded mess.
Over and over again I share with you what I call the Noble C’s (calm, clear, confident, Divinely connected, and couragous) and how important it is for you to achieve and maintain that “state of being.” It is vital if you wish to live a joy-filled life, to grow and evolve as a person, rise in consciousness and awareness, reach your highest potential, manifest your true heart-felt desires, and ultimately to have the greatest possible impact in helping others.
That can’t happen if the subtle and not so subtle issues have not been discovered, acknowledge, and truly healed on all levels. People with deep issues, trauma dramas from the past that have not been properly addressed, phobias, biases, and judgments passed down through their lineages taint their every thought, word, and action. And, it keeps them from rising up higher in consciousness, and awareness.
It’s understandable how this happens … people are naturally drawn to things they need themselves. Many people in the healing arts are drawn to energy healing, life coaching, psychology and other healing fields because they themselves need work in those areas. I know when I first was “inspired” to begin creating Dancing Dolphin Alchemical Synergies (energy healing oils & mists), it was to address the numerous deep issues I myself was carrying. Physical and severe psychological abuse, rape, bullying, betrayal by a close friend, numerous experiences of love and loss, being forced to move away from who (I thought at the time) was my one true love this lifetime, and many many other issues left deep emotional scars and many unhealed subconscious issues. And that is just this lifetime.
Think of the crusades, the inquisition, slavery, the plague, the trail of tears, and so many other times and challenges that people have faced over eons of time. Those traumas, science has now proven, are passed down to the next generations.
Every person born in a female body automatically gaines a series of subcscious beliefs that they are less than, less loved by God, unworthy, etc. because of how deeply those beliefs are held by people who practice the various major world religions. Those beliefs, of course, are completely false … the Divine (by whatever name you resonate with) loves everyone everywhere (inluding animals, plants, ants, and everyhing else in creation) equally.
There is a saying (I have no idea where it came from) that the sins of the father are visited on the sons for 7 generations. When you consider “sin” to be “wrong thinking” as I do, then this new scientific discovery makes actual tangible sense with real world implications. All of this subconscious caca is skewing, tainting, and distorting the energies coming through the healers and the information the channels and psychics are “receiving” and sharing with clients.
It is particularly bad in the western world where most people have completely turned off their intuitive / feeling body. They have only their mind to trust about anything. And hopefully by now you are beginning to understand how truly untrustworthy that can be sometimes. because of false beliefs and fears held in the subconscious.
I wish the book I’m working on right now was out already so when I mention levels of consciousness. you would have a deeper understanding about what I mean. Until then, just know that to truly step into your power, to lead a life of grace, flow, freedom, and joy, to see and “know” clearly, a great deal of deep deep inner work is required.
You are never “done.” No matter how high you climb in consciousness and awareness. No matter how much information you channel or energy you “bring through,” there is always more and deeper work to be done. It is an ever upward spiral that you are journeying around.
You can tell you have work to do when you are “triggered” by anything. Triggers look like:
- judgment (judgment involves emotion, discernment is very logical and completely devoid of emotion)
- name calling
- reactions of any kind to people or situations
- sudden lack of confidence, self doubt, or confusion
Even just reading the news or social media can trigger your “stuff.” That’s why many people avoid both. I avoid news but spend a great deal of time on social media sharing insights.
Because of how easy it is to have skewed information coming through a channel, I rarely let anyone do energy healing work on me and almost never get “readings.” When you have healed (body, mind, soul) enough emotional baggage, have done soul retrievals and other processes that help you become more “whole,” have stepped into a state of grace, synchronicity, and a greater level of ease, are highly in tune with your intuitive/feeling body, then you can immediately “feel” and know if someone is genuine or running hidden agendas, if they are of a high level of consciousness, and if the information and energy coming through them is pure.
Every single products and program I have been “inspired” (brought in from higher dimensions to assist humanity) is designed to help you get to that place yourself … I have never met anyone living at a higher level of consciousness who hasn’t had significant help to get there. And, no matter how far they rise, there are occasions when they still need assistance. Thinking otherwise is why mamy stay stuck.
Dancing Dolphin Alchemical Synergies offer extraordinary support to help you grow and evolve, rise in consciousness and awareness, and to address the deep dark subconscious things that keep you stuck and playing small. As I evolve, the energies the synergies carry do as well.
I’ve said for years that everyone needs to go through at least 1 bottle of Forgiveness while working with the meditation and training I put together to assist. And that is definitely still true.
Yet, the more I work with the ideas I’ve shared in this article – as well as the deep dive into all these subjects that I’ll be sharing in my upcoming book – the more I realize that everyone also needs to work with the energies of Finally Free. And then in a year or two do another bottle of Finally Free. And then to continue this out into the future.
The Creative Invocations for the I Am Presence contain specific teachings, healing technologies and Dancing Dolphin transformational energies to help you integrate your Diviine aspects of self into your third dimensional reality. Visit this link to get Finally Free and Forgiveness now!
I had everything everyone chasing the American Dream thinks they want. I had a prestigious job with excellent pay, a gorgeous little red sports car, a handsome man in my life, a fabulous house, and I got to enjoy exotic travel really often. I was an engineer and the only female manager at the pharmaceutical manufacturing facility where I worked. Forty people reported directly to me. I was at the top of my game …
But along with the great career came a ridiculous amount of stress.
The plant where I worked was installing a plantwide computer system to handle inventory, materials tracking, etc. It was my job to implement the system “on the floor.” I had to teach big burly material handlers how to use a computer. Some of them were even uncomfortable using calculators. As the system went live, every five minutes Read more
Choose friends wisely!
Many people live in areas of the country (or world) where conformity is king and “shoulds” and “should nots” rule the day. For many freethinkers and those who have learned to follow their heart, it can be like being in a straight jacket sometimes.
I’ve lived all over the United States and in other countries as well and the amount of judgment and condemnation people experience in some locations far exceeds that found in many others.
Sadly, there are people out there who lie, manipulate, pretend to be your friend only to cut you down privately or publically and talk badly about you when you are not around. It truly isn’t emotionally safe to be honest about who you are with those people.
You have to really be careful who you let in your inner circle.
I believe in loving, honoring, accepting, and appreciating others just the way they are … but it has to be reciprocated. I’m open to listening to people who see life differently and have differing opinions, but only if the discussion is done with respect and kindness. If a person can’t be kind, then they don’t get to play in my sandbox and they definitely don’t get to be in my inner circle of close friends.
You absolutely have to be able to be open, honest, and vulnerable with those you surround yourself with. If you can’t, if it’s not safe to do so because you will be misunderstood, verbally attacked or judged, then you need a new group of friends.
Have a beautiful day,
It’s Time to Find Your Tribe
Choose Your Friends Wisely (the article you are reading)
Who’s In Your Inner Circle? (a graphic to print out)
Energy Healers and Shaman
Physical Pain and Entities
Up until the day I met Kaaren Shikiah Kaylor, I had never needed, or even thought of, having an energy session for physical pain. I so rarely have physical pain. But living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the energies there brought up so many things, I often found myself dealing with phantom pain from past lives and had lots of encounters with disharmonious energy, vampires, energetic attachments, etc. Where there is light, there is also darkness.
We had just moved to Santa Fe a few weeks prior and I had been invited to have a booth at a Goddess Weekend in Madrid, NM. As I was setting up the booth, I suddenly began having excruciating back pain. I could hardly walk I was so uncomfortable. I was still setting up the booth when this woman, Shikiah, was doing the opening ceremony. When my then husband, Raven, came back to the booth after the ceremony, he said, “I scheduled you an appointment with Shikiah.” Hmmmm I am freaking picky about who I let work in my energy field. I had never laid eyes on her and yet, I was scheduled for a session. If it weren’t for the pain, I probably would have cancelled. I like to make my own appointments, thank you very much. hahaha
I Am an Energy Healer
Whatever you are called to do as a true life purpose, those talents and gifts you came in to awaken, activate, fine-tune, and enhance, often require that you grow immensely in consciousness and awareness, healing layer upon layer of fear and limitation in order to step fully into that role. That’s what I’ve been up to for two decades … awakening, activating, fine-tuning, expanding, allowing, healing, growing, in a never ending spiral upward.
Like everyone, I’ve gotten stuck and required assistance to move forward on more than one occasion. I’ve developed friendships and business partnerships with people who showed up so I could fine-tune and hone my “bull shit” meter (pardon the language), my ability to read energy, my ability to sort between the truly, authentically, genuinely Light and the wolves in sheep’s clothing – those who appear light, use all the right words, appear to be intent on helping others, but are instead running hidden agendas and in some cases are energy manipulators or actual energy vampires. If you are going to work with energy, this is something you must master.
Read more about the nature of who I am and what I do here.
How to Tell the Dark from the Light
Some Will Steal Your Power
How Can You Tell?
If you spend time with someone and afterwards you feel confusion, worry, exhaustion, or self doubt, that is a neon sign that you have been manipulated energetically and/or mentally. Clear the energy between you and spend less time with them if at all possible.
How often do you take the time to meditate, open the energy channels within the body, connect to the earth and your Higher Self?
These are actions I take every single day. I encourage you to do the same. As you continue the practice, you will become better at determining people who are running harmonious empowering energy vs the opposite.
Have a glorious day,
P.S. When you need help, give me a call.
The bloody shoulds destroy relationships and self-esteem.
Blame, shame, victimhood, guilt … often create terrible destruction and rarely anything positive.
The only way for a person to be happy is to stop blaming others and outside circumstances for their unhappiness. You have to take responsibility for how you react to the words and actions of other people. People’s behavior is one thing. Your reaction to it is all about you and nothing at all to do with them.
If you want a great relationship with someone, you have to create it and make it a priority.
You have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate the other person just the way they are. Of course, they have to do the same for your.
Developing kindness, compassion, caring, and being conscientious of how your words and actions affect others is something you (as in all people) simply have to learn how to do if you ever want great relationships.
The problem for most people is that it is impossible to do those things for another until one learns to do it for themselves – meaning you have to love, honor, accept, and appreciate yourself. You have to see your own brilliance. You also have to see your shortcomings and love yourself anyway.
When you can do that, others will also. That’s just how it works.
It took me years to figure all this out and apply it in my own life by truly learning to love and appreciate myself.
Shoulds Destroy Relationships
Emotional distress happens when you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others or are attached to how you think you and they “should” be behaving. When they (or you) don’t behave the way you think they “should,” you get upset. It’s human nature. It is also something everyone needs to learn to get over.
When you get angry, upset, or sad because someone didn’t behave the way you think they “should” have, that is a great opportunity to take a long hard look, heal, and release, the underlying cause of your anger or sadness. The current circumstance is simply a mirror showing you something that is still “broken” within. It is never about the other person or situation. It is always about the one reacting.
People have good days and bad days. They are imperfect. Sometimes they are fun and interesting and other times they are grumpy. Sometimes they have energy to do things and other days they can barely get out of bed. That is just the truth.
Some people are night owls while other are morning people. Some people are naturally more kind. Kindness is really important to me.
Think Before You Speak
If someone is mean, calls people names, is constantly judging, complaining about, and criticizing others, I simply refuse to hang out with them. They obviously are not showing honor or respect for those other people.
If the people you tend to hang out with act this way, it’s time for new friends. It’s also time to look in the mirror because people are often drawn to people much like themselves. You have to learn to think about how it would feel if someone said that to you, before you speak it out loud. Check out this article on Living the Golden Rule – the rule book I follow in life.
If you have done something unkind, then recognize it, forgive yourself first, then apologize, and move on. In the future, think before you speak or act.
Learning and growing is why we are here. We don’t expect a toddler to always be nice or know how to do everything already. Yet we expect ourselves, and others, to do everything perfectly all the time. When in truth, we are all just learning and growing.
This is a little saying I came up with some time ago:
“They are doing the best they can with what they’ve got
Be it what they’ve experienced or what they’ve been taught.”
In every given moment, we are all doing the best we can. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Yes, we could all do better. But because of stress, environment, fears, limiting beliefs, judgments, expectations, attachments to outcomes, shame, blame, victimhood, and guilt, we behave less than best a great deal of the time. We can beat ourselves and others up over this forever. Or we can let it go, forgive, and move on.
We are also greatly influenced by the expectations of others. If someone thinks we always screw up, we tend to screw up. If someone thinks we are brilliant, we tend to be brilliant. How you are viewed in the eyes and unspoken beliefs of those you surround yourself with does have an impact on you – whether beneficial or detrimental.
They did a study a long time ago. I am not remembering all the details, but this was the gist of it: A teacher was given the name of each of her new students for the school year along with their locker number. However the teacher was told that the locker number was the student’s IQ. Whether the teacher openly treated students differently with what she thought was a higher IQ or if she simply had higher expectations of those students with high numbers and lesser expectations of those with low numbers, at the end of the year the student scores matched her expectations. Even for children who usually got A’s, if their number was lower, they got lower grades.
How you believe people are is how they behave in your presence. If you think people are jerks, then you tend to be surrounded by jerks. A lot of it has to do with your own beliefs and expectations. When you change, the experiences you have with others changes as well.
Feed Your Mind the Right Things
We are comprised of 70 to 80% water. The studies by Masaru Emoto showed dramatic shifts in water structure by simply taping different words (written in Japanese Kanje / calligraphy) on a glass of water. http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html Check out the images, they are fascinating.
Hate caused severe distortion. Love caused extraordinarily beautiful and intricate crystalline structure. Music, news, conversation all have a real tangible effect on your body and therefore your mind and emotions. What you feed your mind matters. Who you surround yourself with matters. How you speak to others and how you let them speak to you matters. What you listen to, even your self talk, all makes a huge difference in how well you do in life and your level of happiness and success.
Many success experts say that you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. When you are stuck and wanting to change, the first thing to do is change who you hang out with. If you can’t do that physically, then do it through audio, video, and books. I know a very successful woman who used to read the autobiography’s of very famous people and then, in her mind, pretend that those people were sitting around a table talking with her – her own mental board room. She had “gotten into their head” by reading all about them and then started having conversations, asking questions, making decisions as if they were her friends and advisers. The famous book, Think and Grow Rich, would suggest something similar.
I used to listen to audios and read books by my favorite spiritual teacher. On my way to and from work, I listened to his words of wisdom. I read and listened so often that sometimes I would suddenly hear him say a line or two in my head. It was very empowering and eventually helped me find the courage to leave an incredibly stressful career environment and head out into the unknown to find joy, passion, and my true life’s calling.
Now some of my online programs help you take a deep dive into my work, read my words and hear my voice, related to personal and spiritual growth, energy healing, inspiration, new thoughts and perspectives about life, to truly become empowered and find their own courage to become magnificent and have greater relationships and a more meaningful life experience.
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like this one on getting stuck in the negative thinking spin and the others mentioned at the bottom of it. As well as this article about the Golden Rule and education.
May you experience magnificent relationships,
My first spiritual teacher, Stuart Wilde, had this great technique. You close your eyes before a meeting or situation and you see the person shrinking down to a tiny little person about 1 1/2 inches tall. You see them so small they can run around on your hand. In diminishing their size physically, you are also diminishing their perceived power over you or situations. Instead of a giant monster in the way of joy or productive meetings, they become a comical little silly thing that makes you laugh. It shifts the energy enough to actually make a difference. Nothing has really changed of course, except your opinion about all of it.
Best of luck!”
It is not always easy to find the “good” in everyone or to genuinely learn to like and appreciate them. Visit this link to read my article about learning to love, honor, and appreciate everyone.
NO amount of abuse, whether it be physical, mental/emotional, or spiritual/energetic, is acceptable. Any time you are not being (feeling) loved, honored, accepted, and/or appreciated for who you are, it is often a sign that abuse of one kind or another is happening.
I’ve been through various forms of abuse myself and thankfully I’ve healed, moved on, and lived to tell the tale. Over the years I’ve also worked with hundreds of clients who were facing similar issues. There is a saying that goes, “Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell, Spirituality is for people who have already been there.” Many who turn to spirituality, metaphysics, energy healing, alternative/complementary medicine, etc. do it to heal issues that, whether they realize it or not, began because of abuse of one form or another.
I’ve written many articles about who you allow into your inner circle. I can’t stress enough how truly important that is for your health and physical / mental / emotional / and spiritual wellbeing.
Who and what you allow in says to your subconscious mind, the Universe, and those around you what you desire and deserve.
Every time you allow abuse, you are saying: “I deserve that. I am not worthy of being honored, loved, respected, and appreciated. I am not lovable”
Those are horrendous affirmations and they must stop NOW!
Because, Dear One, they are absolute LIES!
You are magnificent!
You are an embodiment of Divinity walking on planet earth!
You deserve everything – to be happy, healthy, and successful as you define success!
You are a precious gift and you deserve all that you desire.
Not sticking up for yourself is also abusive. It’s you abusing yourself, saying you don’t deserve better.
And yet, when you are in it, you feel:
- less than,
- unworthy, and/or
No matter how smart, or seemingly successful you are, you often can’t see a way out. Or, as a defense mechanism, you don’t even allow yourself to see or recognize that you are being abused.
Abuse of any kind causes damage not only to self esteem, but also to the energy field (aura) around you. When the energy field is damaged – ripped, shredded or torn – all sorts of icky sticky energy can “get in” and then you have even more disharmonious/noxious stuff to deal with.
If you find yourself in an abusive situation, call on a friend and ask for support from the Universe (God by whatever name), and get out as fast as possible! Find a place to step back into wholeness that is safe.
Most Dancing Dolphin products were designed to assist with putting things back into wholeness, harmony, and alignment energetically. Each one of the sacred healing oils and mists helps to soothe the hurt places, to lift you up energetically so you can see more clearly and heal what needs to be healed and deal with what needs to be dealt with.
The perfect energetic to support anyone facing current or past abuse of any kind is the Dancing Dolphin sacred healing oil of Turquoise. It is nurturing, healing, protective, helps to lift you up into a safe space for healing and transformation. And, like all Dancing Dolphin products, contains Dolphin Healing Energies and other powerful energetics that take you and your spiritual journey to a whole new level.
Dancing Dolphin Turquoise oil is available here.
EnJOY this video where I share with you the reason you find yourself unhappy. I call this the Honeymoon Principle. The video explains what I mean.
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